The Gentlemen Project Podcast
Bi-weekly podcast highlighting impactful stories of parents and what they do to be successful at home and at work. Helping you turn the time you have with your kids into time well spent helping them learn the most important lessons in life. The Gentlemen Project Podcast is hosted by Kirk Chugg and Cory Moore-friends who are passionate about fatherhood and raising the next generation of great kids.
The Gentlemen Project Podcast
"The Man in the Arena-Giving Your Kids Something to Cheer For" with Ashton Buswell
Ashton Buswell shares his personal and professional journey in this conversation, revealing the secrets of being an involved and purposeful father in the fast-paced world.
Ashton, a championship wrestler and sought-after sales trainer offers valuable insights on raising four daughters with the grace and grit of a modern patriarch.
We explore the challenges of working while prioritizing family well-being, including the transformative practice of writing letters to one's future self. Ashton provides actionable advice for strengthening familial bonds and highlights the values of respect, love, and care.
Join us on this inspiring journey as we share the lessons and legacy of Ashton Buswell and his family.
Check out the show on any of your favorite platforms and give us a like and follow if you like our content!
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Welcome to the Gentleman Project Podcast. I'm Corey Moore.
Speaker 2:And I'm Kirk Chug. Today, to my right, we are joined with Ashton Buswell. He is one of the guys I grew up with. He moved into my high school when I was a junior and he was a sophomore with his brother and we were just like stars in our eyes because these two guys from the midwest super rock, solid athlete, performer, wrestler, football players were going to come and make our team, uh, state champions yeah, is that? What happened?
Speaker 3:he won the state championship when he was a senior.
Speaker 2:Good work I can say without a shadow of a doubt without ashton buzzwell on that high school football team, they would not have won the.
Speaker 1:I have to ask whether, even if you cut this out, I don't know if you want people to know your ages, but what year was that that you won the championship?
Speaker 3:1999, 99, so class of 2000, but it was in the fall.
Speaker 2:I had some friends in 98 I think, but not 99 that I remember okay, yeah, I was just a year in front of him and buzzwell has gone on to do a lot of really cool things in his life, but one of the things I know he's most proud of is the family that he's raising and the relationship and marriage that he has with his wife, lydia For sure.
Speaker 2:And he's in town from San Diego today. We connected about the podcast. The book just came out and I think he was one of my first supporters that went on and bought a book, nice. And then we connected. He says, hey, why don't we do a podcast while I'm in Salt Lake? So here we are.
Speaker 3:And I said, you have famous people on here all the time. Now you're even more famous.
Speaker 2:Whatever man.
Speaker 3:I just want to be famous to my kids.
Speaker 2:Well, and you told me that you told me that that was one of your things. So tell us a little bit about you and Lydia, your family. Give us a little bit of context, what you do for a living. He's if you're in the sales industry, which is a huge industry. But if you're in the sales industry, you know Ashton Boswell. He is like a lightning bolt on stage. He does the Haka, uh, to get people motivated. Like this guy is full energy all the time.
Speaker 1:So when Kurt's telling me, you're basically like a sales legend at this point. That's what he told me today, so you got to tell me all about it.
Speaker 2:I think that's better than sales influencer, because I don't know, that's icky but uh but he is, uh. He's very well respected within the industry and has changed a lot of people's lives because of it, and I've always respected Ashton, and so I'm looking forward to learning from you today.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, man, I'm blushing. Right now you guys can't see this. I'm blushing, but I I'm grateful to. That was a nice intro, Kurt, Thanks man, no thanks, I used to beat me up on the football field.
Speaker 2:It was mutual. It was mutual. We beat each other up, smash each other, that's right.
Speaker 3:I a little bit about me and my family, um, married to beautiful Lydia Buzzwell. Lydia Polikoff Buzzwell. She goes and now drop Polikoff, but, um, we have four daughters. So I know this is a gentleman podcast. I'm the only gentleman at the house right now and I'm not growing any gentlemen, I'm growing ladies. But I'm happy to talk through a little bit of the gentleman side and the lady side.
Speaker 1:Well absolutely, they go hand in hand, they go hand in hand. You got to raise those ladies to want a true gentleman. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and, and, and I'm trying to show them what it? Is to be a good man, and uh, so the ages that the girls for um 14, 11, six and three, and uh, our three year old, three year old, just did some poopoos on the potty.
Speaker 1:So that's a big. I remember that now, but that is a big deal Actually. Everybody on the podcast is cheering for you.
Speaker 3:right now, everybody should be like, yes, and she's gonna love this one, you know so that's huge yeah, someday she'll listen in 15 years she'll be like.
Speaker 2:I remember when dad said that on the podcast, you said what about what?
Speaker 3:yeah, so now that they're my, they're my pride and joy, they, they, uh, I love, I love being a dad and uh, and being a husband and all of that entails. But I'm I'm the worker on the work side, I'm a speaker, I, I, I speak and present, mostly on sales. I'm real passionate about, uh, having a balanced life that I'm. I'm in the process of writing a book. I don't have a book out yet, but I'm in the process of writing a book. I maybe have chat GBT plug it in or I won't do that, but I'll have.
Speaker 3:I've got the framework of it and I've had it for like two years, but I just need to, like, sit down and take the time to do it. It's not, there's no such thing as a balanced life. That's the misnomer. It's about having harmony, and so the whole book is about having harmony in the home and harmony in your life not necessarily a balanced life and how you can be all in where you are, when you're there and get really, really effective use of your time and day and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:We love that both, cory and I are nodding our heads because we have talked so much about this. Yeah, it's important.
Speaker 3:It's so important yeah so, and then I and I um do a lot of sales training, so I'm I'm working on a course for brand new sales reps. If anybody wanted to look at instagram, that's probably the best place. Where I have most of my stuff at Ashton Boswell Uh, that's where a lot of my sales tips and things will go and just get some good free value there. But I also post on there a lot of about my family because I'm super passionate about that stuff and I want people to see you can be successful in business and at home and at and physical fitness and all of it. Right, you don't have to be a one-trick pony. You can do a lot, and so I'm trying to be that example for as many people as I can.
Speaker 2:You can't see Ashton's biceps from here, but he is probably in the best shape of his life, would you say.
Speaker 3:I've got the most muscle that I've ever had in my life. I wrestled in college and I was in the best shape of my life my freshman year of college. As far as like actual physical fitness. I was in incredible shape and I'm not quite there, but I had more muscle than I did then.
Speaker 2:So did you win a state championship in high school as well?
Speaker 3:I won state twice, twice Yep. And then I won junior college nationals before I served admission for my church and then went back and wrestled at University of North Carolina oh wow, and I'm actually in wrestling again. So I got into old guy wrestling. Yeah, this is what I want to talk about.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:One of my friends posted about it on social media that they were doing a master's wrestling event and I was like I've had some good goals the last couple of years, like around my physical fitness, and I thought what can I do to continue to do that? I had a goal to do 50 pull-ups in a row and tendonitis kind of messed that up. I almost got there. I got to 40 and then I pivoted my goal and and one of the years I decided to wrestle at the U S open and it was a neat experience, 40 years old, wrestling out there.
Speaker 3:Normally your kids don't get to see you wrestle. There's no like pickup wrestling. There's pickup basketball. If you're good at basketball you can show your kids hey, look, I was good at this when I was a kid, but there's nothing like that for wrestling, you know. And so it was a really neat experience to be out there two years ago and uh and wrestle. And I came real present. I wrestled 11 matches in like 23, 22 hours. My brother Tyler that's your age was there down there with me. He's like, dude, if you're gonna do this, I want to come coach you. And he said you've done some incredible physically fit things in your life, but that, as a 40 year old, is maybe one of the most incredible things I've ever seen which I felt that way too, cause I was not in as good a shape as I needed to be.
Speaker 3:But anyway, two, two different times on the mat. I remember sitting standing out there and the reps had to talk about something, and just becoming really present to my little kids in the stands cheering for dad. It was so cool.
Speaker 1:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:And I was and I like got teary-eyed. I'm supposed to be beating people up, you know, like my opponent, but I like legit got teary-eyed at two different occasions. Like this is special because they don't. They don't get to see, they don't get to cheer me on. They're cheering for me. When I come home and I say I got a sale today, all the girls are like yay, you know, they're excited, but like to see me get in the arena and have a reason to cheer for dad was a super cool experience.
Speaker 3:And the same thing for my wife, right, she's a concert pianist. She can just jam at anything on the piano and we have a piano at our house. She's like I can, I can show you what I was good at anytime, but you can't really show us that with your wrestling. But I was, and so anyway, this year I I tore my labrum in that. That met that two years ago, and so I've been recovering and tried to bulk up a little bit and I'm going to do it again at the end of this month. And then I've I've decided I'm going to wrestle at the world championships. You might as well. If you're going to go big, you might as well go represent the United States of America Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's amazing. Good for you so that's super cool. That's on my roadmap this year, so talk to us a little bit more about the harmony thing, cause obviously you you're have either figured this out or you're figuring it out and you're talking about writing in your book about it. So dive deeper. What does that mean to you, and how have you learned the harmony thing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I wish I could say I came up with that idea first. I didn't, and nobody. People talk about it too, but I'm not the only one that's like, yeah, this is a novel idea. But the um, I I've, I've learned it and I, you know anything that you're good at. Anybody that's an expert in anything is really not all the way perfect at it. But they're just a little bit further ahead. Right, and I'm not perfect at harmony and I'm not even probably that much further. You guys may have more harmony at home than I do. I don't know. It's hard to judge that thing, right, but as you, as you think about it and you focus on it and you try to make it a part of you and what you're, what you're going for, then then things start to dial in a little bit more Right, and it kind of first started happening when I um, when Lydia and I, we moved into a new house three years ago and now we can exercise at the same time because there's enough space and our kids are old enough that we've got an old enough kid that we could both leave and go for a run or go to the gym, and it would be okay, you know, but when we had younger kids and we didn't have that, there was one time slot when the coveted time slot in the morning to go exercise and I gave it to my wife and at the time I thought it was the biggest sacrifice.
Speaker 3:I need to run too, I need to exercise too, I need to do these things, but it was on as a mom. You're on 24 seven right? My daughter came in and snuggled with my wife last night and sometimes I get the snuggles, but she got it last night right. But at four o'clock in the morning she's trying to just sleep, you know, but she has to be mom. And so what I realized was that if I gave her that prime time spot, there was a lot more harmony in my home. There was a lot more opportunity for her to get her mind off of everything not be responsible for kids, not be responsible for cooking meals, cleaning anything, shipping people around. She could just go for a run or lift some weights or whatever it was. And when she, when I gave my wife that opportunity to have her balance time and her alone time, it really recharged her and then it let me do tons of stuff. I was at that time, I was really trying to get the rocket ship off the ground for my solar sales career and and I was spending extra time doing that sometimes.
Speaker 3:Sometimes I'd wake up and go to a business network meeting in the morning at six or seven in the morning, seven o'clock in the morning and leave the house at six in the morning and I wouldn't get home till nine o'clock at night. So I'm not even seeing the kids all day and she has to be there. But as long as I, you know those days she wouldn't be able to go run, I would take that morning spot. But as long as I, you know those days she wouldn't be able to go run, I would take that morning spot, but as long as I would give her those other times there was a lot more harmony in my house and I was like, wow, how else can I make sure that there's harmony here?
Speaker 3:And a few things that have been really, really helpful for me with my relationship with my wife and my relationship with my kids is having scheduled date nights Again not a novel idea, but something we do. I got asked to be a bishop at church for a little while and right after that happened, I was a young bishop and we came out into the parking lot after we were asked and I'm like, did that really just happen? And we had gone on dates, kind of. But we made a decision in that car we have to go on a date every single week. I'm already really, really busy. I'm a national sales director. I'm running the San Diego area. I'm the top sales guy in our company. Um, you know I got all these things already, but you're the most important earthly relationship that I have. So we have to do this and we, for five years we missed maybe one or two times.
Speaker 1:That's fantastic.
Speaker 3:And she could count on it and it was the most important account event in my calendar and it wasn't. I used to kind of be a little frugal, cheap, whatever you want to call it on the dates and just kind of try to do fun stuff or cheaper things. And then I was like no, this is an investment man, this is like the most important investment, the most important calendar time, so that that became an absolute, non-negotiable. And then a mentor of mine said as often as you date your wife, you should date your kids. And I was like I go on a date with her every week. And he's like you should go on a date with each of your kids every week. And I was like I can't do that, dude, that's, that's too much. But I can go on a date with one of my kids every week. So every week I have a daddy-daughter date and my girls, they just can't wait for that and they know they're going to have that time and again. At the start I was trying to teach them good lessons, like all right, you've got $7, and you can use it all today, you can save some and we'll do a bigger activity next month. Or I was trying to teach some budgeting and then finally I was like no man, whatever you want to do, let's go. I don't care, you choose, I'll choose who's going to choose? Sometimes they choose, sometimes I choose, but that monthly connection at least monthly connection has really helped me with having harmony with my kids.
Speaker 3:Another thing that's been really helpful is to have meaningful connections. So a goal that I have every day before 10 o'clock is to have a meaningful connection with my God, with my physical body, with my mental body so affirmations or reading or listening to things right With my wife and each one of my kids and my three-year-old is now old enough that I can communicate and talk with her, but when she was six months old it was legit getting in her face and locking eyes and just being with her and her being with me, right, and and if I can do that before 10, all those things before 10 AM, I've absolutely won the day and the rest of my day. Whether I get lots of sales or don't get a lot of sales or have good conversations or don't, it honestly doesn't really matter, because the most important things I've already accomplished. But meaningful connections too, not just a connection.
Speaker 3:Too often with spouses and kids it's like how's your day? How was soccer practice? Good, not like how are you feeling and is anything going wrong at school? What's your favorite part of school? What are the things that you're missing? Are your friends Right? Like a meaningful interaction with somebody, with my kids. So my most sacred hour every day is between 6.45 and 7.45 in the morning. I wake my kids up, I get them breakfast, get them ready for school, walk them to the bus stop. I used to walk them to school and we lived closer to the school. But that hour in the morning, a monthly date night with my kids and a weekly date night with my wife and the meaningful connections all along the way are again, if you calculate the amount of time that is, that's actually not a lot of time compared to the rest of my life, right, but if I can hand, if I can do those things, and then I'm in a lot better situation. So I feel like I'm rambling.
Speaker 2:No, that was all on point man, that was all on point and stuff. We were going to ask you anyway. So that's awesome, what an amazing, what an amazing time. And everybody that's listening to you know I find myself saying, well, you know, my Everybody that's listening to you know I find myself saying, oh, you know, my situation is different now, or my kids aren't that age, and it's not so much about doing exactly what Ashton just said. Right, it's about the purposeful nature in which you approach it and in your situation, what does that look like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and what hours of those days For me, my connection comes with look like yeah, yeah, and what hours of those days. For me, my connection comes with my kids at night when we pray and read scripture, right, and that's usually when they open up. They're tired, but mornings mornings are different at my house than they are at your house, and that's fine, um, but it's. It's finding that and, dude, when we started doing weekly date nights, it's not only good for for us, because this is something that Karen and I decided we were going to do it's Thursday nights for us. When somebody says, hey, we should get together and do something, I say Thursday's, thursday's, my open night. If you want to get together and do something, I say Thursdays, thursday's, my open night. If you want to get together and do something with me and Karen, we're open Thursdays, and usually those nights they look like every other night, except my kids.
Speaker 2:Now, instead of saying are you going on a date night with mom, they say where are you going on a date night with mom? Yeah, say where are you going on a date night with mom? Totally, and they expect it, and I hope that that's something that in the future they say you know what my parents always did this. They valued their relationship so much that they took time away and they did it every week and they did it consistently. It's the example that you're setting for your daughters. Sure, say, your husbands need to be invested in you. They need to do this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you've heard it. But the most important thing is One of the most important things that I can do for my daughters is love their mom and date their mom, like that's showing them love and compassion. And my kids get all. They close their eyes when we get all gooey, and you know what I mean, and I'm like, oh, don't kiss in front of us, right, all that stuff that's so important. And the date night is like it's that right, like my parents, this is what they did. So I expect my marriage to also be that way. And if we're not doing this, and why aren't we doing this and why did my parents do it? And and yeah, I agree a hundred percent, that's that's so, so important.
Speaker 1:So you seem like you're a pretty disciplined guy You'd have to be to do some of the things that you've told us you've done. And I, from what? I wasn't a wrestler but but one of my brother-in-law was and he's like it's the hardest sport, corey, I'm telling you it's the hardest, it's the most dedication and I'm like I get it. I, I see that. So so with wrestling with you know the date nights, things you told me I'm seeing discipline.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There's sometimes when I get off track, like I've tried to do date nights with my kids and then relax, and then I'll be like, no, you got to get back in it. So do you have something in your life where you read refocus once a year or once a quarter, or just to make sure, am I doing what I said I was going to do, or do I need to realign my priorities, because there's times and seasons for everything? Right, if you're going to find harmony.
Speaker 3:So what's your way? I'm just kind of curious on, like, how do you keep yourself focused, disciplined or aligned with your goals, that kind of thing? Yeah, we do a couple of things. So my wife and I try to do a some sort of staycation or trip, just her and I, every quarter, and we do one big trip a year, um, and we also want to take our kid. We take, we do little staycations with our kids and we'll just take them away, not very far usually, and that has been so. We just came back from one of those. We went up to Yosemite, got an Airbnb. It was far enough away. There was no activities for kids to do. We're just hanging, right, we're just together. But that gives us an opportunity to like, talk about meaningful things if we choose, about meaningful things if we choose and sometimes we don't, sometimes it's just we're, we're here together, we're just being together, right, um, but I want I try to have at least one, one of those a year be around, let's talk about where things are at as a family, you know, in a bigger way than just, like you know, on sunday nights or whatever, when we're at home, um, Um. So I, I do that and something that's been really effective for me the last couple of years is around my.
Speaker 3:My whole life is to write a letter to myself instead of writing out goals and in sales, the last couple of years I've been what I've been trying to do, uh and and maybe it's just maybe, maybe it's not sales, maybe it's just my trying to win at life. If you, if we call, if you called me on the phone, I would say how are you doing? I'd be like, good man, I'm winning, are you winning? Like that's how I answer the phone and trying to win at life. I start to formulate my ideas for what I'm going to do the next year around the end of November, because a lot of people take December really slow and if I can start my year almost in December, I got a headstart on everybody right.
Speaker 3:So around that time I'm kind of formulating what I'm going to do the next year and then I write a letter to myself from my future self, and it's been a really impactful exercise. So I write a letter to myself from myself on the, as if I'm writing from December 31st 2020, this year, december 31st 2024. And on the plane right here this morning, I read my letter that I wrote to myself and in that letter I'm real descriptive on the things that I want to have happen. And it's not just like went on a trip to Croatia, you know what, you know wrestled at this, this, and that. Whatever it's like descriptive. I'm doing this because of this and and this is how it feels, and I'm trying to pull in emotion and I'm trying to be real descriptive on why I'm doing those things.
Speaker 1:It's like a movie of. This is how it felt. This is what it looked like.
Speaker 3:This is what I accomplished and it honestly helps my discipline because and I and I try to, you know, I, I, I try to create an atmosphere where it's going to be a really good time for me to write that letter.
Speaker 3:If I'm getting distracted, if I'm getting, you know, I, so I need to have some alone time and I need to kind of prep for it.
Speaker 3:Um, but, like the last couple of times that I've done it, it's, it's felt spiritual, like this was like I was writing a blessing for my life, but it's only as good as I me reading it more and more Right and I revisited some things and and I okay, I'm off track here, right Of of where I want to be, and where I want to be is where that letter says and that letter isn't like be a 10 billionaire, you know like it's like actual things that I can actually do. That may be a stretch, and last year's one, I accomplished every single thing but one, and then, and most of it was a stretch, like last year was an awesome year for me in that regard, and I read the letter like almost every day for the first month and then a couple of times throughout each month, month, the following months and it was cool to just kind of see how things were were coming into play. So, um, that's been an effective tool.
Speaker 1:The last that's a really good one. I haven't, I haven't heard it put quite like that before. I like that idea a lot.
Speaker 3:Instead, I like it better than new year's resolutions or goals, not that you can't have goals, but it's the same thing as a goal, but it's like written out yeah, and this has already been done, yeah it's really cool.
Speaker 2:What a cool skill that would be to teach your kids. Are you teaching that to your daughters?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've talked to them about it. They haven't really and it's on me right as the parent we haven't really exercised. I've talked to him about it, I've shown him my letter and some of it's like even maybe too personal for me to share, you know, with them, yeah, and, but I've shared. I'm sure they're part of the letter.
Speaker 2:They're in the letter. Yeah, for sure yeah.
Speaker 3:They're in the letter. So can I share something? I thought about sharing this. Yeah, absolutely A little tangent from what we were talking about, but I was like, what can I share that would be valuable on this podcast for people? And I thought of three things and so I'll just spin them out. We can talk about them.
Speaker 3:One of the first ones that we talked about that went along with the meaningful connections was to listen with your eyes. I asked a guy that I really respected After I was just married he had 13 kids and I and he was doing he's a sales trainer and and he was like training us and I said how do you have like, where do you start having wanting to have 13 kids? He's like Ash, no one starts wanting to have 13 kids, right, and he's like it just kind of happened. But as a new dad, as a new husband, I was very curious how his relationship was was, was, was with his wife and I said how do you be a good husband? And he said, ashton, you listen with your eyes. And that was so crazy impactful to me because so often we have our phones and with our kids. If you want to, if you want to connect with your kid listen with your eyes.
Speaker 3:Our phones get in the way and we're talking like oh yeah, uh-huh sure, and they know we're not paying attention. And anytime my kids say, dad, put your phone down, I'm like dang it, they got me. Or I'm not really listening or paying attention. But I try my best to listen with my eyes and I'll even tell them. If they come into me and I'm in the middle of something, I'll say, hey, listen, I'm in the middle of something. I'll say, hey, listen, I'm in the middle of this. I can't listen with my eyes right now, but if you want to talk to me, you can. But once I'm done with this, I'll be able to listen with my eyes. Is that okay? And most of the time they'll just, you know, they'll just go for it without me like stopping, but I I'll let them know like I can't be as engaged with you as I want to be. So that was one idea. I love that. That's great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's it's language that you're using in your home. Yeah, that your kids now understand the language. If you said that to a kid that grew up outside your home, they'd be like what are you talking about?
Speaker 3:You listen to your ears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job. The kids, the kids have that. So that was one idea.
Speaker 3:Another idea was dad growing up, when we would go on wrestling. We'd go on trips. I grew up in Kansas and we would wake up at crazy early times in the morning and drive hours to a little podunk town in Kansas and there would be a wrestling meet there and we'd wrestle and me and my brother would sleep, my dad would drive and then on the way home we would be talking and he would say to us and and I it's funny, tyler, that was wrestling with me all the time he had the same experience as me. But oftentimes I think my dad was just talking to me, you know, like maybe that's selfish or maybe that's just me as a kid, whatever. Like my dad asked me this question, but he would ask us. He would say, once we kind of talked a little bit about some things, he'd say Ashton, tyler, whoever was there with him, do you want to talk about girls or do you want to talk about wrestling? And and when my dad asked that question, that was his opportunity to be like hey, let's have it, let's now have a meaningful conversation, and I'm going to let you choose what. What you want to do. Is it going to be about wrestling? Sometimes it'd be about wrestling, and then other times it'd be about girls, right, or about anything else that was going on in my life that that I wanted to talk, talk to my dad about.
Speaker 3:So I tried to do this with my kids and I was, I was asking you know, some of my girls were just I was asking them life questions, on our dates. We'd stop and I'd start asking them and they would respond. One kid though I was like hey, so how's school Like, what's going on at school? She, she was looking up at the stars and she said stars. And I said well, what, what like are you? Are you having fun at school? Is thing, are things good at school? And she was like moon, and she was just kept dodging the question. And then I finally said do you, do you want to talk about life or the galaxy? And she was like the galaxy, perfect.
Speaker 3:And so now that question has become my question, because my girls aren't wrestling, so I can't talk about life or or girls, but I can talk about life for the galaxy. And I now I've downloaded an app on my phone that has all the star tracker and if they say galaxy, we go in on the galaxy, and I've never been into telescopes, but I'm probably going to buy one and and you know this, this configuration over here, and where's Mars? Let's find Mars, and you know what I mean. But but that's become an avenue or a question, a question, and that's going to be a question for everybody. That's going to be a little bit different, but for me as a kid, I recognized that this is my dad wanting to have a conversation with me.
Speaker 3:And now, hopefully, my girls have that same recognition. Like now, dad, because I'm asking about school and teacher and whatever else. But like, hey, do you want to talk about life or do you want to talk about the galaxy? Oh, okay, dad wants to talk about something. Do you know what I mean? Just as like a little little indicator. So find finding a way to transition into something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, that was, that was Keith Buswell's gentleman project. Like, my experience with my boys was a right before bed let's. Let's talk about what it means to be a gentleman for five minutes. Yeah, right, and sometimes we talked about what was on the board and what a gentleman was, and sometimes we talked about other stuff they had questions about. Yeah, and that was their license, their avenue to have access to me, their dad yeah, and so that was Keith Buswell's Gentleman Project. Yeah, I freaking love that.
Speaker 3:We got to talk about your dad after your third point too, by the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's talk about my dad because he's well worth a great gentleman.
Speaker 3:Third point was kind of back to the wrestling thing of what are we, as dads, giving our kids something to cheer for, like? Are we giving our kids something that our kids can be like in our corner? Some dads do. Some dads are all in with their kids and they're cheering their dad on because he's really good at hunting or he's really good at this thing, and they look up to their dad about that thing, and other dads don't. Other dads are kind of just going with the flow, or parents, but this is a gentleman project.
Speaker 3:But as a dad, are we? What are we doing that we're? We're giving our kids something to cheer about, and if we're not doing something, then we should figure something out. And it doesn't have to be wrestling at the world championships right, it can be really good fishermen, or they tie their flies, or. Or we love to go hunting, or we love to go play pickleball.
Speaker 3:My dad is a really good pickleball player, you know, and I love cheering my dad on and my I'll go with my dad when he plays and I'll watch him and like, and you and it's uh, it isn't something, maybe necessarily that you like, like, like, hey, I want you to cheer for me about this, but it's more about who you are. Right as a person are you? Are you finding a way that you can inspire your own kids? And and if you're not inspiring them like you've got to, you've got to first find something that inspires you about you. Inspired by you, no one else is going to be inspired by. You got to do some things that are a little out of the ordinary, maybe a little crazy, that that are pushing you to be a better person, and then they'll be inspired by that. And then, if other people are inspired by that, too cool, but it's mostly down to you.
Speaker 1:I like that a lot. And showing your kids, inspiring your kids I like that word and I actually haven't thought about that before. I think there's a few places where I probably have, but I think I don't think it's ever been on purpose. Why not do that on purpose? Why not show your kids something cool? You know, even talk to them about this as a goal I have, and you're going to watch me work towards it. Plus, you're giving yourself a bunch of accountability if you do that with your kids, because there's no way I'm going to tell my kids I have a goal and not achieve it Right, like that's big time pressure. Yeah, so I love that. I haven't ever thought of it that way.
Speaker 3:And even, and even if you don't make it like just putting it out there and showing them that you're doing something, they know that you gave it the effort, yeah.
Speaker 2:That actually might even be a better. A better lesson is if you don't quite get there Right, but they saw the effort right, Right.
Speaker 3:If they see you win, they're cheering you win. If they see you lose, they're learning what that now? Now, what do you do when?
Speaker 3:this happens Because we lose a lot more than we win in in our interactions in life, right? So if, if dad starts throwing things and cussing and kicking things, like okay, I guess that's how you're supposed to react. Or if dad is like you know what, I'm going to get it next time and that's all good that I lost, because now I've got this motivation and I can learn this and I I'm going to adjust here and tweak this and pivot here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Right.
Speaker 3:That's cool. Teach him some resilience and some grit. And okay, my dad, he went through some hard things and yeah, he didn't quite reach his goals.
Speaker 2:That's okay. That makes it okay for me not to quite reach my goals, but I should set goals because dad did. Yeah, it's good. Can I share something with you guys? Yep, um, I guess if you were um following some of my social media as we were launching the book, um, you may have seen this um that I posted in a private group. But uh, cory, I don't think you've you've seen this.
Speaker 2:So we were waiting for like four or five days for the book to publish and my kids knew, like when started the book, that the book was coming, that the book hadn't been released yet. Dad was still working on the book. The book is out there in the ether somewhere and then we published it and we were waiting for amazon to make it available for purchase and as soon as it hit, my wife posted a link in our family chat and my kids were like sweet congratulations, papa, you know. And my 13 year old daughter like this is one of the coolest texts I've ever gotten. She said great job, I'm so proud of you. Like I literally teared up when I read it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:They saw. They saw that this was something dad was going to do. He said he was going to do it. It got done. And when she said I'm proud of you, like that's just so cool, so cool, so. That's just so cool, so cool, so that's what it's about.
Speaker 3:That's what it's all about, dude, right, and that's that's so. That's them cheering you on right. They've been in your corner. Dad's writing this book. He's he can do it and to see it come to fruition. There's not, there's not, many better texts than that text right there, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, um, let's talk about your parents, because I am I don't interview many people in the podcast that I know their parents, but I have a short story that I want to tell about your dad.
Speaker 2:He was one of the first guys that grabbed me when I went into the custom clothing industry and he was like here's what you need to do, here's some people you need to know, and he kind of mentored me a little bit, even through email, and he kind of mentored me a little bit, even through email.
Speaker 2:And then he was in a leadership position in the church where my grandfather, who passed away two years ago at the age of 91, he had stewardship over my grandpa and my grandpa was really lonely and he really, really, really, really respected your dad and your dad would often take the time to come and visit with my grandpa cool and make sure that he knew he was seen and not forgotten by someone outside of his family. And I knew this about your dad because I knew him and it didn't surprise me. But you've had a really good example from your dad of the type of man you want to become and I in no doubt know that that's why your family is the way it is because you've had great leaders in your mom and dad. But talk to us more about some of the things that your parents taught you, and how are you teaching them to your kids?
Speaker 3:dude you're making me cry about my, get choked up about my dad. My parents are my heroes, without a doubt, and I I was just at my parents a few weeks ago and this I, I, um, my wife's grandma was like, hey, I'm gonna die sometime. If you want some stuff, let's start putting some names on the back of some of my things, you know. And I said I, I went in and at my parents house there's some cool things, but there's this old beat up sign that my dad had in his office, all grown up, and the sign said and I saw it and I said I want this, can I have this like sometime, someday? And it's just a piece of paper with writing on it.
Speaker 3:I could write the same thing, but it was the sign that I saw and it said I am what I am today because of what my parents are every day. And I think that was a good reminder to my dad that he needs to be, that he is what he is today because of his parents, and he had good parents. But it was also a reminder to him to be a good person all of the time, so that your kids see you good all of the time If they see you bad once. I mean that tarnishes a reputation, quick, right, or whatever they think about you or any of that stuff. Right and uh, I, I saw that and I wanted that because my I am what I am today because of what my parents are every day and my parents, my mom is the most Christ-like person that I know. Absolute heart of gold, absolute lover of people, no judgment, all love, will take care of you in any way possible, and she's already taken care of 25 people.
Speaker 3:You know, like she had eight kids of her own and she did a daycare business for like 30 years. And people were like how she? She had eight kids of her own and she and she did a daycare business for like 30 years and people were like, how do you have eight kids and have eight other kids at your house? And she was like if I just get one kid to laugh every day, then that's that fills my bucket. And but she was loving up on kids all the time and my dad my dad's the wealthiest person that I know, and it's not money. I don't know a soul that doesn't like my dad and anybody that knows my dad loves my dad because he's just a good man. I didn't know he went and visited your grandpa, but that doesn't surprise me because he would do something like that and he probably does it all the time and doesn't tell anybody about it sure he does sure he does.
Speaker 3:So they the, the um. You know the principles that they have taught um, a lot of inclusivity, a lot of love, a lot of that. That. Uh, to be a good person I'm I'm working on a sales course right now and I have a whole section about being a good person. I'm working on a sales course right now and I have a whole section about being a good human, a whole section about humans are good and be a good human.
Speaker 3:And my parents totally taught me that. I grew up in Kansas in a country area mostly white people. There was like two black kids in my school and one of them was my next door neighbor and my same age and it was so good and healthy for me to have thomas ross be my next door neighbor and we were different ethnicities but we bled the same, we laughed the same, we liked food the same and my mom and dad were all welcoming all the time, no judgment ever of anyone, color, uh, like, uh, socioeconomic. If they had money didn't have money, any of that stuff. It was all love all the time, and and, uh, they, they.
Speaker 3:So they taught me how to be, or to try to be, a good person all the time and and uh, that sounds so super basic, but it's actually really powerful, right? If you're walking down the street and you see a Snickers wrapper on the side of the road, do you pick it up? Or do you just think, oh somebody else put that there, why'd they put that there? Or do you not even think about it? A really good human would go pick that thing up and put it in the trash so a dog didn't get it or didn't pollute it for somebody else. Right, simple things like that. Right, simple things like that. Right. But doing that over and over and over again and finding the one, finding somebody that would need love and care and support, and actually going out of their way to go do something about it that's what they taught me to do and I'm trying to teach my kids and trying to teach other people to do be a good human I got called on the carpet.
Speaker 2:This last weekend we were. We were down in St George and we were walking out of a Walmart and I don't enjoy Walmart at all but there were carts everywhere and my kids are going to laugh because they're like this is going to end up on the podcast someday. It's ending up on the podcast just the next week. But I said you know what really like ruffles my feathers is that people can't take three extra seconds and walk their carts back to the place where carts go. As I'm walking past all these carts, there's like probably 12 of them just on the sidewalk scattered and my 18 year old daughter goes yeah, but I'm just going to walk past him and complain about it and I was like you got me. I'm like, okay, everybody grab a cart. And I got all. I got four teenagers that are just shaking their heads at me like, oh God, dad, you know.
Speaker 2:But we cleaned up that whole aisle of carts with all the complaining and the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. We got in and they're like this is going to go in his next book. But my daughter called me on the carpet so I was trying to teach her. At one point I taught her don't complain about it, fix it. And she's like yeah, dad, you're just complaining about it, do something about it. Yeah, all right. So that's really good. Some of those things stick so.
Speaker 3:So a lesson that happened to my dad that that uh, that he shared with me. That stuck with me. I wasn't even. I wasn't even a participant in the experience, but he he said that he was listening to a church speaker speak. They were broadcasting something on TV and the message was about charity and his mom was upstairs with her dad and he was sick. He was elderly and needed help moving from the bed or needed some sort of help. And she yells down Keith, can you, can you come help me with grandpa? I need your help with grandpa. She's like mom, I'm listening to this talk about being a good person, like about charity. I need to listen to this talk about charity. And then he's like or I should just go do charity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, little things like that, just stick in your memory.
Speaker 3:And that's stuck in your memory and that's stuck with me forever and I've taught that same principle to my kids and hopefully they'll teach their kids of like hey, don't just think about it, their eyes on it. Like, go do it and if you've got an opportunity to think about it, learn about it. Or do it, go do it Right. Go go clean up the carts, Don't just complain about it.
Speaker 1:That's another fun story. Well, I think you talked about how you're teaching your kids to be good humans and that it was kind of basic. But man, if that's all we did as parents, the world would be different, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, if we're going to change the world, it's going to be in the home, totally. One home at a time, one person at a time, one generation at a time, right, so I applaud you for making them aware that there's a decision to be made in everyday life if you're going to be a good person or not.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's awesome Thanks and being it with their friends, right, being at school, all those things right. Every interaction they have. Yeah, we have kids over. We've started a buzz night at our house Once a month. We'll have all the youth in our area come for like a hangout and just come hang out and we play games and we do these things and there's sometimes that some kids are off to the side and you as a I'm not in it. Right, I'm in it but I'm not. But just kind of watching the kids you can see and it's funny. As a kid I didn't really have those perspective moments very often. I would sometimes, but as an adult man, I'm looking at it all the time this girl right here needs some help.
Speaker 3:Can anybody else not see that, right? Can somebody go over and help that girl? And so usually not in the moment, cause you know my kids would be like dad, I'm playing with my friends, why you're trying to teach me a lesson right now, but later, right and and and and. Hopefully that sticks enough that they start to see that like, hey, I can tell that so-and-so is just kind of lonely and no one's talking to them. Maybe I should go and bring them with me and come, come hang out with me and my buddies or whatever.
Speaker 2:Situational awareness is a muscle.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you've exercised it and you've learned it and now you can see it and recognize it. And those kids just haven't had enough time to to use that muscle. But being reminded of it, my kids are. When I die, my, my kids are going to stand up and eulogize me and say my dad taught me situational awareness. Amen, okay, at the end of the podcast Buzz we always ask our guests to define what they think it means to be a gentleman. Would you do that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, gentleman is a person that's all around, good, human. A gentleman is someone that takes care of women and gives them the utmost respect every time. Yeah, a gentleman is a lover. A gentleman is somebody that cares. It cares for the other, for other people's souls and other people's hearts. I like that answer.
Speaker 1:Thank you, yeah, amazingly that went by so fast.
Speaker 2:I started asking the last question and I was like no, it's not time. But it's time it's crazy.
Speaker 1:You did such a great job, thanks.
Speaker 3:Thanks, and I flew by Good. Good, I'm glad I I hope I didn't go off on too many rants.
Speaker 2:That, oh no no, no, that was great. Um, if, if you want to follow Ashton Buswell, you'll be a better person for it. He might teach you some sales skills, but it'll probably teach you more about life and sales and in sales, and, uh, it's a blessing. When I see him on my social media feeds, I pay attention to what he has to say because he's coming from it, from a place of love. So, if you want to follow Ashton Buswell, are you having, like, the blue check mark next to your name? Yet I just did, yeah, okay, I was kind of kidding, but it's real. He's verified at Ashton Buswell. That's right. Okay, and if you're, if you're looking for a sales motivator, a sales discipline guy, he's your man.
Speaker 2:If you were listening to Ashton speak today and you felt a prompt in your stomach that you needed to change, do something better or just a little tint of motivation, act on that good thought and share this podcast with someone that you love. That's what you can do for us. If you want to like, share, subscribe so that you get the newest podcast episodes to the top of your podcast feed, we'd love that. If you want to go, check out the book the parent's guide to eating an elephant on Amazon. I'm pretty sure it's the only book named that on Amazon, so just search it up and, uh, hopefully that'll give you some stuff to work on in your family as well. So, ashton Buswell, it's been an honor. Thank you, it's been my pleasure. Thanks.
Speaker 1:Ashton, thank you, it's been an honor.
Speaker 2:Thank you, it's been my pleasure. Thanks.
Speaker 1:Ashton. Thank you, my good friend, Thanks everyone.
