The Gentlemen Project Podcast
Bi-weekly podcast highlighting impactful stories of parents and what they do to be successful at home and at work. Helping you turn the time you have with your kids into time well spent helping them learn the most important lessons in life. The Gentlemen Project Podcast is hosted by Kirk Chugg and Cory Moore-friends who are passionate about fatherhood and raising the next generation of great kids.
The Gentlemen Project Podcast
Cherishing the Ordinary for Extraordinary Legacies
What does it mean to be a modern entrepreneur shaped by the legacy of family values? Join us for an enlightening conversation with Mike Haupt, owner and executive of Haupt Electrical, who shares how his parents' extraordinary resilience and strong family values have profoundly influenced his life's journey. With his mother's upbringing in a Catholic orphanage and his father being orphaned by age 13, Mike’s story is a testament to how overcoming adversity can forge a powerful resilient spirit and a commitment to family.
Mike reflects on the delicate balancing act between professional responsibilities and family life. Through personal anecdotes, he shares the joy of following in a parent's footsteps and the invaluable lessons learned from early exposure to a trade. This episode highlights the significance of hands-on experience, the importance of being present for family, and the transformative power of witnessing generational continuity in craftsmanship and work values. It's a heartfelt exploration of how our priorities shift with age, often accompanied by a deeper understanding and wisdom.
In a world that often overlooks the small, everyday moments, Mike reminds us of their profound influence on family connections. Through stories of creating cherished memories out of the mundane, such as shared chores and errands, we explore how these interactions can shape future parenting styles and strengthen family bonds. The conversation also touches on the importance of maintaining relationships with aging parents and defining what it means to be a gentleman in today's society, emphasizing kindness, honesty, and understanding. Join us for a touching reminder that the seemingly ordinary can hold extraordinary potential to fortify family legacies and foster enduring connections.
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Welcome to the Gentleman Project Podcast. I'm Corey.
Speaker 2:Moore and I'm Kirk Chug. Today we are pleased to be joined by Mike Haupt. He is the owner and executive of Haupt Electrical. He was referred to us by one of our good friends and former guests on the podcast, david Gilliland, as somebody who we just have to interview, and when we get a referral from a previous guest, I listen. And so you are going to experience, corey and I, getting to know Mike at the same time. You will, and so we're super excited for this. We had a good conversation before the podcast today, but we're going to get into some of what Mike's entrepreneurial process has been and what his story is, and how cool the influence of his father was in his life as he's made a career for himself, and how he's extending some of those same lessons onto the next generation. So, mike, thanks for joining us on the podcast, joining us in the studio and taking time out of your day to be with us.
Speaker 3:It's good to be here. I'm excited to talk about, you know what's brought me here, and the influence of my family, and I'd add, yeah, my dad, but my mom too, so I'm sure we'll hit that.
Speaker 2:Well, tell us about your mom and dad.
Speaker 3:Yeah, interesting. My mom and dad's story is very non-typical. I mean, obviously people have tragedy in their lives and that's something that everyone deals with. But my mom actually grew up in a Catholic orphanage in Buffalo, new York. So she's the last child of four.
Speaker 3:She had one sibling pass away, but she's quite a bit younger than her older siblings and her mom and dad divorced in the 40s and in the 40s when her mom kind of took off and went to California, left kids and dad behind, my mom's my grandpa Leo. He just couldn't work and take care of my mom and so he really looked at the best options and they were Catholic at the time and decided to take her to a Catholic orphanage and he did so. He was still a part of her life. He would see her a lot of times on the weekends and go spend a few hours with her here and there. But she, you know, he worked seven days a week, worked for the railroad, worked long shifts, 80 hours plus a week to support and do what he could. So so that was interesting for her to come from that Um but what a background.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, crazy. I um went out this year. I decided to take a trip, uh, with my family. I've never been to Buffalo, new York, never seen where my mom grew up, and we didn't get a ton of time there. But we got to go to Buffalo for a day and go see the orphanage it's not an orphanage anymore, but the building where that was and see where my grandpa grew up and lived and his tombstone now in the graveyard there and the Catholic graveyard and it was cool. It was just.
Speaker 3:You know, I like family history and I like tying into that side of seeing just where my mom was. It's a it's a gritty city and it's interesting. But also just her environment of growing up and then so for my my dad, so she, she came out of that. Um ended up. You know it could be a long, long story just on that, but um ended up moving back to California and living with her mom for just a little bit of time before she met my dad. Then later married my dad. Young, she was 16 when she married my dad.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so young family and part of it. You know, when she moved out there, mom still struggled with alcoholism and she, you know, wanted to go try because she was ready to move on from where she was in Buffalo. But it wasn't what. She was ready to move on from where she was in Buffalo, but it wasn't what she was expecting. And quickly she realized she needed to make a change and she had met my dad about six months prior to that. So they expedited getting married and they're still married to this day. They've been married for, I want to say, 63 years, my dad's 87. My mom's 82.
Speaker 1:So it's a unique story.
Speaker 3:Yeah, interesting. And my dad was actually orphaned by the time he was 13. So he grew up youngest of eight in Arizona and his dad died when he was 11. His mom died when he was 13. And he's the youngest by, I want to say, like six years, and so his siblings really were kind of helping raise him in the last few years of his life, but he went to work early, you know, and got working as a trucking and then became an electrician, pretty quickly too, actually.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, so how did so? Those are very unique stories. It's not your everyday, no, and then they were pretty young when they met and were married. So how did that influence who they became who they are? And then, how did that influence who you are today?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a deep question, I think. You know. I think it, especially seeing it in my mom. Just her value on family is huge. She didn't grow up with family and so she's been very there for all of us kids and all of and the grandkids and great grandkids, and so she's the type and my dad too, but especially my mom it's like I have to be careful when I ask for help with the kids, cause she would be like leaving on a trip to San Diego and I'd be like, can you watch my son for two hours and she'd be like yep, yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm like were you going to do some. Oh, I was just going to go on a trip. I'm like no mom, go on your trip, it's okay. And so she's just very family centric. You know, growing up and and I also realized you know there's there's pros and cons to all of these situations you come out of, and I feel like she really had this way of compartmentalizing her life, cause I think to get through a situation like that, you kind of have to do that and I've seen that that she's. She's an amazing woman. I know she loves me and she tells me she loves me, but her emotional connection to people is it's not as deep as you might think it would be, and I think she's protected herself and guarded herself over 80 plus years to make sure that she could survive. I think you know and so definitely deeply influenced them.
Speaker 3:But I think honestly, when I look at my parents' marriage too and they've had a good marriage right, but 65 years, a long time both of them were children really when they got married my dad 21, she was 16. And I think about you know, even just no family support Right, and having kids. They had kids really quickly after they got married, had their first one only a year into marriage and and then had eight, and just just the gravity of all of that. But I guess my kind of my point is is through the thick and thin of it and I think because of that early background, I think that's a big reason why my parents made it through. There's plenty of other reasons, but I think they had this attachment and knowledge of it's not easier somewhere else and we have this. So let's lean into this and I think that's an important principle that we don't. Sometimes we were ready to maybe run before we should.
Speaker 2:The grass is always greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so I see that and they had, you know they had. I remember I was the youngest and I found out afterwards. But there were some rocky patches in my late high school years where my mom almost left my dad and you know they kind of worked through that. My dad committed to some change and I'm sure I, you know I, I'm sure my mom had some of her own pieces in it too, but they made that work and that was in the past Now. That was almost 30 years ago, right so 25 plus years ago.
Speaker 3:And so that's uh interesting that I, when I look at it, I'm like I feel like a lot of this sticking it out, pushing through the thick and thin came from early stages of kind of feeling abandoned by both of them, and you don't wish any of that on either of them. But I also think it kind of helped shape who they became, which then helped shape who I became, you know, and each of me and my seven siblings have a different experience inside that, so being raised by 21 year old versus being raised by my dad, you know, when I was born he was 42. So completely different. And I kind of have a similar thing with my children, where I don't have as many. I've only got four, but they're spread out over 18 years and so I've got a 20, almost 23 year old son and a five year old son. We were just talking to some, some friends just barely that were talking to my wife, and it's like our five year olds being raised by completely different parents that are a lot more patient, a lot more. We're able to be more present in where we're at in our careers and where we're at financially. That is nice and and where we're at financially. That is nice. But there's kind of pros and cons.
Speaker 3:My 23-year-old to tell you he loved having a young dad. That just was kind of energetic, and I feel like I'm still kind of energetic, but I am older and I feel older in my 40s than I was in my 20s, and he wanted to be a young dad and I've cautioned him. I'm like, hey, maybe wait a little while, you're not married yet. So but I also realized that we connected on this friendship level. I missed dad first for sure, but we had this. We were constant together.
Speaker 3:So his um, he came from a previous relationship. His mom and I were never married. We weren't together for very long after he was born, so he doesn't remember that kind of relationship. And then he was about four when I married and started dating. I guess started I think he was four when I married my wife, but the connection between him and I was just always a little different and just close.
Speaker 3:So, anyway, I just I feel like anywhere and you know, I've got my two daughters in the middle there as well, a 15 year old, a 13 year old, almost 13 on Sunday but and that their experience is different and I just I think that's how you look at this is is you know their, my parents' experience inside of their family dynamic was very different, especially for, I mean, my mom's older siblings were not orphaned because they were old enough to live that out, and so she was. And then my dad is the youngest I think it's five years younger than the next closest, so when he was 13 and both parents were gone, the other one was 18. That's a that's a different experience for sure.
Speaker 3:And down the line.
Speaker 2:So so you were. You're saying that the difference between your oldest and your youngest experience of you being their father is is completely different, and I can. I can think, you know. I think that this is one of the things why people say being a grandparent is so great, because you've learned over the course of like 20 plus years usually how to be a parent, and then being a grandparent is kind of like this second chance to do things the way that you now wish you would have done them, where the little things are really not that important. You don't get upset about the little things and you just love first.
Speaker 2:So I guess, if you're like a young parent listening to the podcast because all three of us are kind of nodding our heads around the table that you know the things that you're stressing out about right now, about or am I being a good parent? Is my kid behaving in public? You should. You know you want them to, but it's a reflection of them, not you. Yeah, and you know, give yourself, give yourself a little bit of grace, because 20 years down the road you're going to look at it and say I, I, I kind of sound like I'm a grandpa talking right now, but I'm not. I'm not a grandpa yet, but I can imagine, you know, if I had another kid today, that kid's experience would be completely different than my oldest daughters and the things that I think. I look back and say why was that so important to you? Why did you stress so much about this? It wasn't important in the slightest in the long run, yeah.
Speaker 3:So that's a good point. You know, you hear about grandparenting and the kind of the cliche answer is well, I get to give them back at the end of the night I get to spoil them and give them back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I think really what it is is the patience level that you've got and and honestly, I think that you're, hopefully, you're always gaining wisdom, knowledge and, yes, you will continue to do that in your fifties, sixties, seventies, but when that I feel like the greatest gains are happening, and a lot bigger incremental gains are happening in your twenties and thirties, and probably even forties, than they are probably in your fifties and sixties and not the case for everyone, I'm sure. But so your overall experience as a grandparent is not going to change as much as you were as a parent, and I don't imagine that 18 years into grandparenting, I'm going to be like, oh I, I've learned this greatest thing I wish I would have been a better grandparent 20 years ago and I'm sure there'll be little things but not as stark contrast as 18 years of parenting.
Speaker 2:Well, like you said, you're like in the thick of it. You're trying to provide for your family, You're trying to be present as possible. While you're doing that, Probably getting an education, you know, and there's maybe kids constantly joining the family. So, you know, there's always that dynamic of you know pregnancy and trying to handle new kids coming and trying to keep kids alive.
Speaker 3:Really that's right, just deal with the day in, day out, and there's so many things outside of our control inside that I traveled for my career.
Speaker 3:For a long time I was really involved in controls and automation and food and beverage industry and worked for a company out of Colorado and continued to work for them when I moved here.
Speaker 3:But the person that felt the most of that was definitely my son, and I really tried to make up for that with quality of time and when I was home, I was home and I took the time to spend with him and even it's funny to say this but even you know, in his childhood the smartphone has changed a ton, right, and so being involved and being more present was easier than than it is now, um, still possible. But so I think, from his aspect, when he talks to me about it, I think he really loved his childhood. But, man, I, I traveled a lot. I was traveling, you know, seven, eight months out of every year for until he was probably seven or eight years old, and so, whereas that, you know, that's we, now we're talking about three to four weeks or something, and some of those are just personal trips with my wife now that my, my five-year-old deals with, so it's so totally different.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so different.
Speaker 2:So so when you were about that age um, we were talking a little bit earlier you kind of started following your dad around at like age eight.
Speaker 3:I did. Yeah, I think you know he probably wouldn't even quantify, you know, following him around earlier than that, but at times there were times where I'd go to work with him and honestly he would. You know he did a lot of direct to residential consumers. He'd be at a customer's house, right. You get a call to go out and pick somebody's breakers that weren't working or whatever, and, depending on the day, sometimes that meant I just sat in the truck while he went in. Sometimes I'd get to go participate.
Speaker 3:But I think my early memories are from about eight and at that point I was, you know enough that I could kind of he could kind of trust what I was going to do Right, and understood that I was going to listen to commands and not just, like I don't know, just start jumping on somebody's couch or something as a toddler or whatever. Hand you the right screwdriver, maybe, hopefully. Hand him the right screwdriver, hand him a screwdriver. Whether it was right or not, I don't know, but yeah, so I, you know, early on, went with him. My brothers had all kind of done that as well and I loved it. I loved getting involved, working with my hands. I liked watching my dad work with customers, work with.
Speaker 3:You know some of the I some of my good memories were going into the electric wholesale supply in Orem back in the day in the mornings because they'd have donuts in there and as an eight-year-old I'm like, let's go get parts so I can get some donuts and and go in. And he, you know, my dad is. He's a very memorable uh character for, and so people knew him, he was likable and he's very kind person and so it was fun. It was kind of like hey, everybody knows my dad in this place, this is a fun place to be and and he did, you know, teach me, teach all of us, that kind of this customer service kind of style that we still have at Haupt Electrical of treating clients right, making sure that they're taken care of.
Speaker 3:And so that was huge from a young age to go out and see him do that and see the work. I mean, as we bring on new interns. It's funny all the time because my son started really young too. But what's interesting is, you know, you bring an 18, 19 year old kid in which I can call him a kid in my 40s, I guess right and they, if they haven't been around, construction that it my son. That was 12.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he wasn't necessarily a huge impact on the project, but he learned these parts and by the time he was 18 he became really. He was becoming a very good electrician because he'd spent enough time just looking at the different things that we use, and in electrical I feel like we probably have almost the most vast array of material that you can think of, compared to some of the other trades that we deal with. And that was something that I felt early on in my career that I could identify with that quicker because of my early just involvement in that, and then I've seen that for my son as well.
Speaker 2:So you became proficient quite early 12.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean early on. I mean especially with, like wiring, wiring a home. We didn't do, we didn't do a lot of that. But there were times where he'd leave me and say, hey, finish these three bedrooms out and get this bathroom wired, and at 12, I could figure out and do that pretty well.
Speaker 2:I don't know that it was always right, but it was close. Ocean never showed up on the job site to see a 12-year-old wiring a house. That's probably for the best, for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, that's pretty cool influence to be able to follow in your dad's footsteps and love it Right. I think maybe there's a lot of family businesses out there where you feel like you're pressured to kind of follow the family track, um, especially if there is that pressure, um, but it sounds like this was something that you just really clicked with and that influence of your dad was a healthy influence to just say, hey, this is a cool lifestyle and I love the business yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was definitely a big piece of what's continued to make me who I am in my, in my personal life, in my business so real quick, um, just so like listeners.
Speaker 2:Yeah know, and can be familiar with this. So you, you now run Haupt Electrical and you employ 50 people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just under 50 people right now. So yeah, and started that business in 2008 and Very cool. That economic boom period.
Speaker 1:That was actually a great time to start. It was. It was a hard time the first year or two, but after that you had an upcycle. I think there's a lesson learned in what you said for your dad and you, and that is you know, we've talked on the podcast a lot about creating experiences. You know emotional ties to our kids that they'll remember right and that will allow them and teach them principles that they can teach their kids. And a lot of times we're trying to think outside the box when we're creating those experiences when, in reality, if we just involved our kids more in our lives whether you bring them to work sometimes or whether you're doing work with them at the house on the weekends or taking them to the ranch think about your normal day and you can incorporate some pretty amazing things in a normal run of the mill day.
Speaker 1:You know one of the things I've done with my kids and I forget this sometimes and I get back to it, but I'll just ask them well, how was the customer service there, what we went through, how'd the waiter do? How did that? Whatever, it is right, whatever we're doing how did that go? How was the service there that kind it is right, whatever we're doing. How did that go? How was the service there, that kind of stuff right and just making them aware of stuff that's going on throughout your day? How did dad handle that? Do you think dad was nice? Or was I a little short with that person? You know, whatever it might be, you know, are we aware? Are you being aware in any given situation? You know, I try to teach my kids that, like you, need to be aware what's going on right, what's what's happening and I so I think it's cool that your dad did that and you've done that with your kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think the the social skills that are learned as we see and interact cause there's a feeling there but we don't always discuss what it was Right. And then also, you know, I do think we're all kind of looking for this big thing that we're going to do, which is great. You know, I think there's some some fun big things that we've we've been able to do with our kids, but I think, when it comes down to it, when I look back at my past experience, there's quite a few I mean, there's quite a vast amount that I don't remember Right, but there's a lot of these little things that I remember about my dad like, and these experiences that I had and watching him, and I don't know that we did the best job of always discussing it, but I think we're learning in the background either way, but when you can have that discussion, it just it's another impact. And I was.
Speaker 3:I was talking to somebody on my way up here about I said I had an opportunity to take my daughters to go to go meet uh, to go meet someone, a celebrity, let's say.
Speaker 3:But um, and you know I had this introduction to be able to do it, but what was interesting was he was just very, he was very nice, um, and he was, he was, uh, talked to my daughters for a little bit and just super, uh, just easy to relate to.
Speaker 3:And so we and we, so we talked about that afterwards and and and this specific person is giving back a lot to the community and he's looking for ways to serve inside of his uh, new fame that he has. And it was interesting to see what you typically think kind of a new 20 something famous person, how they might react. And then this person, so we talked about that, right, we talked about why is it feel different? Oh, cause he's, he's selfless, he's giving back, he's pushing time out towards these bigger charitable organizations and so, yeah, that that wasn't a big impact for me and which was just basically my kids riding from Mapleton to Heber with me, and which was just basically my kids writing from Mapleton to Heber with me seeking an event for an hour and a half and then writing back, and it's like I'll remember that We'll see if they do or don't.
Speaker 1:But I think just asking questions makes them aware I get too preachy. My kids will tell you that for sure. Right, I'm sitting here listening to our conversation. All you have to do is ask questions there. You know, why do you think that went well? Why do you think that person, how did they come across? You know, whatever it might be Right, but, like I can tell from your dad already, he taught you how to work hard. Whether he made you aware on purpose or not, you watched him do it. You did that with your kids. He was. You mentioned multiple times how kind he was. He was a big personality. Everyone liked him. So that's going to fall to you and to your kids, right? Just being kind to people for no reason other than that's who you are, kind of a thing, yeah, what?
Speaker 3:are some other things like that. You feel like your parents gave you, that you're trying to give your kids. Yeah, I would say, you know, kind of skewing over to my mom's side a little bit, is just so. A lot of people, like I said, knew my dad and big personality and he's, he's, he's taken on this role where he likes to do magic for people, which is funny, and so he's, he's continued to do that and he's, he's humorous. He's got a lot of kind of one-liner style jokes right that I found funny a long time ago maybe not so much anymore and you know, I think my kids feel that for me as well, but my mom's got this real wit about her and a sense of humor that just didn't take anything ever too seriously and I think that's a big piece that I'm trying to get through to my kids and I think you've got to be careful with it because we my wife and I do tend to be sarcastic and that can. That's not always the best approach, right, and so we definitely work on that a little bit and try to be, um, less sarcastic but just kind of work through things.
Speaker 3:But that's been a big thing for for me, my mom, um, early on she just taught me this sense of humor. So one of her, her practical jokes that she played on all of us kids is you know, you're, you're putting together a snack or whatever a meal before the meal, and getting stuff out of the fridge and putting a plate together, whether it's leftovers or whatever, and, and a lot of times she wouldn't be in the kitchen. And so the home that they live in now they there's, they've been there since 1970 and in Springville, and so same same family home, and anyway you putting this together, and then suddenly you kind of turn around and my mom would be in the room but the plate of food you were preparing was nowhere to be found and she just kind of keep silent about it. And then you're like mom, where'd you put my food? And she had like hidden it in a cupboard or something. When your back was turned, it was like little things like that hand you a piece of licorice and she'd pull it out of your hand.
Speaker 3:Or she'd pick me up from the junior high and as I went out to get in the car she'd start driving away and right, and you're in the hatch from an egg syndrome land where you don't want people even know you have parents and your parents teasing you, and it just taught me a lot, and probably my kids don't love that.
Speaker 3:I do that, but I think they will later, because it gave me a little bit thicker skin and also just made me realize that you got to take things. Some things are very serious and you can't really apply humor to them, but most of the time you can, I feel like, and so that was a that was a big thing for me, seeing her just just do that and and enjoy that, and that's something I'll always remember about my mom is is her her sense of humor, and so and I think specifically with this big personality that my dad is most people see my mom. She's five foot two, she's very sweet, kind person as well, but they don't know the sense of humor the way I do, and so that's another piece that I find very endearing is that all of us children and grandchildren know grandma a different way than the rest of the world.
Speaker 1:So I love that. I think we've talked about this on the podcast and I usually call it happiness as a choice, but I think you could make that a much bigger conversation, in that you can really decide your attitude in any given situation. Now there's times where it's appropriate just to be sad or to be serious or to whatever right, of course. But sometimes, when to be sad or to be serious or to whatever, right, of course. But sometimes when you're sad, you're serious, you're stressed, one of the best things to get you right out of that is a little wit and a little humor. Right, that's right.
Speaker 1:And I've, I've tried to remind my kids of that, like where dad was stressed and I wasn't acting the way I should have behaved. And now I'm gonna do the, do the prank, like I'm sorry kids, I was stressed but we're good, right, and I pull forward when they're trying to get in. Or you know, I'll, uh, I'll pretend that my car won't go until one of them gives me a kiss. Well, for my, for my, for my girls or my wife right, Just little things like that just to try to say wait, timeout, we're in charge.
Speaker 1:We're in charge of how we feel, what we do, how we behave. So let's take a moment and change the paradigm of the emotion that we have been in. So I think that's really cool, yeah.
Speaker 3:And we're constantly doing those things specifically with our daughters in their teenage years. Right now they're really easy to bug. So far, right, my wife and I were speaking in accents and they were not having it, but we were, we were just enjoying it and, and you know, just kind of pushing through those pieces with them. And it's like these are things that you, you remember, and you, you, I think you feel them differently later in life too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, think you feel them differently later in life too. Yeah, one of the things, corey, that you said earlier, that I just very recently had a personal experience with but I'll kind of go back to it was National Daughters Day, and so I picked up my daughter from school and she opened the door and I'm like, guess what, it's National Daughters Day and I'm like, should we go to lunch? So we went to lunch and we were sitting there talking and you know she's now 13 years old and we had kind of a similar experience. Like you, Mike, when she was little, I had the opportunity to be home with her a lot while her mom went to school. And I said what is your favorite memory of us?
Speaker 2:And she sat there and thought about it for a minute and she said probably doing laundry while listening to Johnny Cash and going to the UPS store and looking at the funny cat cards with you while you picked up packages. Yeah, I'm like that's your favorite of of your whole life, of me and you and she's like, yep, I think so. So it doesn't. And I'm like it's not disneyland, it's not building a cabin together, it's not any of those. You know, any of the vacations that we've been on. No, it was me sitting her in the laundry basket and carrying her up the stairs on a full thing of laundry While we listened to Johnny Cash like that's, and she was like three four.
Speaker 1:We should all go home and ask our kids that right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's a great insight.
Speaker 2:It's great Like. What should I be doing more of? Is what the real question is right?
Speaker 1:It Like what should I be doing more of is what the real question is? Right, it's not. It's not what your favorite memory is. My wife wants me to fold more laundry.
Speaker 2:So don't tell her that whole story. Well, that was, that was, that was my role at that point and and I remember it like just so vividly, you know, with like we were, we would dance to Roger Miller and and Johnny Cash and I'd fold laundry and she'd jump around on the bed at the same time. You know, and like at 10 years later, that's her best memory of us.
Speaker 3:I think it's our insight to our kids seeing us kind of at our best too, when we can have that playful piece. We're also tackling I mean back to what you said is just looking at integrating them into our daily life and not like looking for a time for an event. It's like that's what you were doing in that moment and I felt that as a kid, and our kids feel it, but when you're close to it it's hard to remember it, cause we're like trying to think of that next big thing that we can do with them.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you want some alone time, right, but how hard is it to be like? I got to run to the hardware store. Hey, bud, you want to run with me? Yeah, you know. And and go into the hardware store with dad could be a core memory for him. Yeah, if you do it multiple times, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And just snag a little treat at the register or something for him for coming with you. But I think a lot of times we're just like nah, I just I'm just going to run to the store real quick, I'll be right back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's true. It's easy to just kind of kind of duck out and and then there's times where you just truly need it to be just you. That's very true.
Speaker 3:There are. There are a lot of times where it's just more convenient, right, and I mean, I think about that inside of processes, inside the business of what of that, inside of processes, inside the business of what of what we're doing, but also the process of being a parent that, yeah, it's probably easier for me to clean the house than for my kid. It will look probably a little better. We're teaching things right, we'll get done faster, too, yeah, if.
Speaker 3:I ran to the hardware store on my own, it probably would be faster, especially if I'm taking my five-year-old, that I've got to throw in a car seat and help him find his shoes and all these different pieces. But we're teaching where our importance lies, and teaching them. You know that's what we're all talking about. It's been passed down. If I took my son or daughter to the hardware store or wherever more and more often, how much more likely are they to do the same for their kids.
Speaker 2:I don't know the stats, but I'm sure it increases, and I'm going to do my mom a favor, because she's going to ask me this question after she listens to this podcast. So, mom, I'm going to tell you right now. It was when I was a little boy and she threw me on the back of her 10 speed Schwinn bicycle. She bought a special seat for me to ride and we rode everywhere Like we she would. We would ride for miles and miles and miles, and I would just sit on the back and enjoy the ride, and we went everywhere together like pre-kindergarten. So that was her, just including me, right? What are yours?
Speaker 1:What would you say?
Speaker 3:Oh, early core memories. I remember my mom trying to go out and adventure and my mom to this day is horrible with directions and finding places. I mean, I thought to get from Springville area to the Hogle zoo was the most complicated route in the world until I was in my twenties and I'm like, how did you mess this up every time, mom? But what I remember is she didn't have GPS.
Speaker 1:She didn't have GPS.
Speaker 3:So there were some setbacks, but it was so funny because it would take us three hours to get to the zoo and we'd go, you know, once a year.
Speaker 1:So we were going all the time. This is a positive memory for you. Is that what I'm?
Speaker 3:hearing. It is what you're hearing because you know. What was interesting is just how my mom dealt with it.
Speaker 1:That's what I was going to ask.
Speaker 3:I'm not saying that I deal with those same situations as well as her. Sometimes I don't she was still going to do it. It wasn't going to deter her from doing it, even though she knew she struggled with it and obviously the technology didn't help at the time either, but she made. She made the best of it, right, she? We would always pack a nice lunch. We'd have all these nice snacks that we'd bring, and and I remember just being well prepared and knowing that this is going to be a day long journey to get there, because we probably won't be able to find it.
Speaker 3:But I remember many different adventures that we went on with mom that were like that. And I remember also just things with my dad. He made a big effort to make sure that, hey, if we were going to move from California to Utah, all my kids are going to learn how to ski. And skiing was definitely cheaper in the 90eties and eighties, but still not cheap, and we didn't have a lot of money. But they they made sure that we all were able to go skiing a couple of times a year, and I started from a young age and and that's something that I'm like that took a lot for him to be able to do that for eight kids and and to put the money into that.
Speaker 3:And I think, all in all, when I look at everything, I think the experiences of most of my childhood were not on a lot of money. You know, we, we, when we traveled, it was to family's homes so that we could stay in their backyard and a tent or, if they happen to have a spare room, somebody was in there and, um, so you know gas, money and and time, and so I, I think that would be the, the big, the big things that I, you know gas, money and time, and so I think that would be the big things that I you know.
Speaker 1:It's funny, it's both your memories that didn't take money or not much? Yeah, not much. Isn't that funny. You think your kids would care about that, but they don't. I think if I asked my kids, their memories would be. I'm going to have to ask them now, but their memories would be similar, Like it was something simple.
Speaker 2:Yep. What about you, corey, my dad, I'm not letting you off.
Speaker 1:The people that have heard the podcast would kind of know. But my dad was my football coach and basketball and, looking back, I knew he had no time for that but he did it anyway and it was special, really special, like all through little league, both sports, so that was pretty spectacular. That's a big time commitment. My mom it was. She drove us everywhere, right, so we were in the car all the time and I'm not saying that every time. That was a great memory. But I look back and I there's I think it's more of an appreciation now of man driving and driving, and driving and driving. Whatever it took.
Speaker 1:You know she very selfless woman and um, and then actually, for with her we had a, we had, um, some trips. I remember a trip when I was young to Washington DC and it was just me and her and that was special. Now that's a bigger one, sure, but it was really special. It was kind of like, and I think for her, if she was here she would probably say it was one of her favorites too, and the why was because she didn't have to be mom, she could be a little bit more friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I feel that way sometimes too when I'm on trips with the kids, even a road trip. It doesn't need to be go on an airplane or even a date night right, where you're just doing something one-on-one and you don't have to only be dad, you can be their friend. I think that it's easier as they get older and move out and you can start becoming more of their friend. But it's hard when they're at home. You're dad first, appropriately. Yeah, sure, I think a lot of parents actually are friends first and I think that's actually a problem that we have sometimes in society. I agree.
Speaker 2:Anyway, all right. So both of you said something about your mom and dad, so I've been thinking about my dad because I just mentioned my mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you better yes.
Speaker 2:My dad used to bring me to salt lake because he's an antique hound and he collects things like old automobile and soda memorabilia and stuff. So he would take me to all the antique shows and all the antique shops and told me about this randy record, randy's records, and we would always stop at crown burger on the way home. Now and like he just let me tag along. Yeah, he wasn't doing anything extra, it was what he was going to do. We would go to car shows and we would come to Salt Lake on Saturdays and that was. That was what he. That's probably my best memory of my dad.
Speaker 1:So what do you guys do to connect with your parents? Now, this is not a normal conversation that we've had on the podcast.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's a good question.
Speaker 1:I think Yours are getting a teeny bit older. I mean, they're yeah, they are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, my dad's 87. Oh yeah, he's, yeah, so definitely lucky to still have him. He's still in pretty good shape for 87. I feel like he's showing it more in the last couple of years even. But he's still up and moving around. I feel like he's showing it more in the last couple of years even but he's still up and moving around.
Speaker 3:But you know they live close to me. Oh, that's nice. So I try and spend a lot of time over there and so quality time with them and scheduling little things Like my mom just loves to walk, so when I go over on Sundays then I go on a walk.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's a great one and we'll take the kids and stop at a park and let the kids play at the park, which the teenagers aren't as big into the park but the five-year-old is, you know, he's still in that zone and so doing that, my dad loves to play chess, so that's an easy one that we can sit back and play chess and enjoy, enjoy that and just the family dinner. So we go, we have family dinner at my mom's house every other week on Sundays, and so that's, that's a big place for not only me to connect with them, but for them to connect with my wife and my kids.
Speaker 1:My mom and dad are going to listen to that and be like where?
Speaker 3:are you?
Speaker 1:I asked that because I need to do a better job of like being consistent. So I work with my dad every day, yeah, and so I think my mom kind of gets you know we should, we need to spend more time with her, but I'm with him all the time. So in my mind, subconscious, I'm like I see him all the time.
Speaker 3:My mind will remind me no, you don't.
Speaker 1:So I've actually started saying, hey, let's take, let's take mom and dad on trips, or let's just take I took my mom just my mom with me and my son to Wimbledon a couple of years ago and that was very special for me and, I think, for her too, for her too.
Speaker 2:I saw her posts.
Speaker 1:She loved it. So I do think we we often are we're constantly thinking about our lives, our careers, our kids, getting them where they need to be, get him to whatever, right. We and I think we all kind of overschedule probably a little bit with our kids, trying to give them the best life we can. But I think sometimes for me I've I haven't done as good a job as saying, well, what about my parents? Like, invite them to more, get them to more stuff? Right, and they're relatively young, so I don't think of them as like, yeah, not being here, but they're around 70 now and so I'm starting to have that, even though they're very healthy and they can do whatever, it's not going to be the same in 10, 15 years, it's just not. And so I think them having time with my kids, them having time with us, it's an important part of being a good gentleman. If you're going to, you got to take care of your family, right? Kind of a thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it's still an emphasis for many people here, but in other countries maybe even more so and maybe we've lost that a little bit more here, and whatever however that comes across, but I think it's important to continue that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, why is it more important? Go a little bit more into that. Other countries.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, you see the generational care that's given in a lot of Asian countries or Latin American countries where it's not uncommon for them to live together, and now I feel like we just don't even consider the fact and that's maybe too absolute. There's many people that do that here, right? No, I think you're right, but I think, percentage-wise, there's more people here that are not able to do that, and I think partially it's because it wasn't done before them and before them and for them.
Speaker 3:That's basically all of what we've been talking about is we're learning from parents, grandparents, and you can deviate that plan and add your own things in, but if you don't do it early enough, it's not going to not going to catch on quite the quite the same. And so, yeah, I think that I don't know, I I think there's also like a well, I know there's a fear of death too, and just thinking about the fact that we're going to die, or watching like people some people don't even want to be around someone that's older because it scares them. It's, and it's weird to see that the changes in somebody in 20 years. But I think, uh, it's a big piece of what we should be doing is thinking about that. That's around the corner at any moment.
Speaker 3:People, uh People unexpectedly die, and it's not necessarily the conversation we want to have with our kids every day, but I think it's smart to think about it because most people you know the regrets after someone died is that they didn't do more while they were alive. And when you don't think about that they're going to die, then it's easy to kind of hold back and say, well, there'll be time, there'll be time for that.
Speaker 2:I have a neighbor who works in a long-term care facility and she said that's her biggest pet peeve is she'll go to the funerals of these people that she cares for for years and then she'll hear the families stand up and say how much they loved him and she says in her mind it's like where were you? Then she's like the long-term care facilities are the loneliest place on earth. Nobody comes. That's sad, but I think you're right. I think a lot of it is like the reflection of our own mortality. Yeah, you know, and and being around, being around age and and death is is hard Boy. What a downer at the end of the podcast, right?
Speaker 2:Well, no but it's, it's an important conversation because we're talking about, like our parents and our grandparents, like I'm still lucky enough to have two of my grandparents around that I love. Oh yeah, that's amazing. My kids have gotten to know them and like they're super close with them and so like what a huge blessing. But I think it's an important conversation to have. Yeah, for sure, and it gets us all thinking a little bit about how we can connect not just with the next generation but with the past generation.
Speaker 1:Well, I was going to ask Mike about the five-year-old Was that a planned event or was that a oh, or is that not something you want to talk?
Speaker 3:about? No, we can talk about it. It was planned. So we my wife did have just bad postpartum depression after our second daughter and so we had wanted another one. But we were just concerned, right, sure, mental health, mom, that's very real. Okay Is real.
Speaker 3:And at the end of the day, not having another child, I was okay with that, and both of us were. But we, we hadn't really just shelved it and said that we're done. It was more just like hey, let's. And so honestly, seven years later, I I know we hadn't talked about it and shelved it, but in my mind I'd kind of shelved it. I was like that's over. But she was like I think we need to do one more. I'm, I'm in a better spot, I think we can, we can do this. You know, financially we're in a better spot. A lot of different things kind of added up. And so we did that and I couldn't think of another amazing thing much more amazing than my five-year-old.
Speaker 3:I love all my children, but I feel like it is keeping me young and just giving me that experience of I'm. Actually kind of feel like what my dad must've felt like with a young son and a later age. He was a little older than me, but I think I was 39 when my son was born and he was, I think, 44. So not not too far off, honestly, and so I remember feeling kind of like a grandpa dad in the moment. But it's yeah, it was a planned event and it's been. It's been awesome, very cool. Yeah, Very cool.
Speaker 2:Well, what a fun conversation. I feel like we've had a good conversation. That's been enlightening for me and hopefully, if you are listening to the podcast today, you learn something that you can take and apply in your life and make your family better, make the legacy in your family stronger, maybe start a few new traditions and a couple of good questions to ask kids. Mike, at the end of every podcast we ask our guests what they think it means to be a gentleman. Would you mind answering that question for us? I can do that.
Speaker 3:I can do that to the best of my ability. I honestly think being a gentleman is being somebody that other people can look up to, and I think that it's an important piece of being a gentleman to really be able to understand differences. I think we're kind of in a day and age where we're kind of supposed to think everybody's like too much the same, and I think one of the big differences there is we can acknowledge differences, but we don't need to do it with hate or judgment. I think we can look at differences and acknowledge it but still have love for the other person on the other side and feel inclusive. And so I really think, in the modern day of being a gentleman, that that's a big piece of what we're trying to do is that, whoever we're interacting with, that we try and understand.
Speaker 3:You think of the true what gentleman type acts that we talk about, opening a door for somebody or what, the chivalry of throwing down a coat and letting someone.
Speaker 3:But I think what all that gets to is it's you know, we talked a bit about kindness and I think I've had a saying that you know came to me from somewhere else, but I really identify and it's this thought of being kind, not nice, and that kindness is a lot deeper than being nice, kind to somebody that's going to tell you you've got a mustard on your lip, you know, and and not let you go past.
Speaker 3:So I think those are parts of being a gentleman. Is is not just, it's not just surface level anymore, and that we've really got to dive deeper than that and we've got to give people kind of their own, their own time and their own spot and and be okay to disagree, but to disagree amicably and with love. And and I think usually when it gets outside of gentlemanly, I guess, if that's a word is when bigger groups are the wrong platform to talk about something, because pretty much when I meet with somebody that may have completely different religious, political affiliations, all these different things, if I'm one-on-one with that person, I've never got in an argument with the person in that space, and I'm sure people can, but I haven't, and so I think that's a big piece is when we have an issue, rather than shouting it out on a platform, finding a smaller space to kind of discuss the similarities and and to work through things.
Speaker 1:So long answer, but I think that's being a gentleman in today's society you know, I think we have more and more of us that are talking about just being kind, even when you have differences just showing love to other people and trying to see both sides, even if you don't agree.
Speaker 1:And hopefully there's enough of us out there that are having those kinds of conversations, because I hear that more and more and more, right, there's the black and white and the right and the left, and you name it on a million different issues. But I am hearing from more and more people well, let's just start with kindness and then work on those issues. That's right, and the more people that spread that word, the better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, shout out to our good friend Curtis Bennett I was thinking of Curtis Thepowerofkindorg. One kind act a day. If you haven't heard of that, look it up. It's amazing. Trying to get that into my daughter's junior high, actually, oh, that'd be good. So, mike, thank you. Thanks for your perspective, great answer, your honesty, and amen to your definition of a gentleman. And amen to your definition of a gentleman. If anything resonated today in the podcast to you, our listeners, think about somebody that you can share it with, and with technology the way it is, it's pretty easy to. You can share the idea, you can share a quote, you can share a link to the podcast. Just send it to somebody and say, hey, I listened to this and I thought of you, love you. It's pretty easy. So we appreciate you spending your time listening to the podcast If you're on a drive or with your family. Thanks for taking the time to invest in yourself and your family by listening to the podcast. We appreciate you. Hope you have a great week. I'm Kirk Chug and.
Speaker 1:I'm Corey Moore. Go make some family memories together.
