The Gentlemen Project Podcast
Podcast highlighting impactful stories of parents and what they do to be successful at home and at work. Helping you turn the time you have with your kids into time well spent helping them learn the most important lessons in life. The Gentlemen Project Podcast is hosted by Kirk Chugg and Cory Moore-friends who are passionate about fatherhood and raising the next generation of great kids.
The Gentlemen Project Podcast
From Dreams to Action: Kerry Owen's Journey of Compassion and Philanthropy
Kerry Owen's story is a powerful testament to how dreams can lead to compassionate action. She shares her journey of establishing Feed the Need in New Zealand and later growing Reach Out Today in Utah, both aimed at alleviating childhood food insecurity and supporting vulnerable youth.
• Kerry's background and charitable motivations
• Origin and impact of Feed the Need charity
• Connection through dreams and their significance
• Challenges faced in establishing charitable organizations
• Transitioning from New Zealand to Utah
• Continuing work to address poverty in local communities
• Examples of personal stories that inspire change
• Ways for listeners to get involved and make a difference
https://www.reachouttoday.org/
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Welcome to the Gentleman Project Podcast. I'm Kirk Chug.
Speaker 2:And I'm Corey Moore. Today in the studio we have Keri Owen, who I met. How long ago now? Maybe a couple years?
Speaker 3:It was about five years ago. Was it that long About?
Speaker 2:five years ago. She remembers better than I do About five years ago. She remembers better than I do Carrie in fact, I just sent a video before the podcast this last weekend introduced Kirk to Carrie via video and he watched the video and saw some of the things that she's done in her life and sent it to like a dozen people. Yeah, and he said, is she like the modern day Mother Teresa? I said, well, maybe pretty close. So we love her, we think she's amazing.
Speaker 2:I'm going to give you a little bit of her bio and then we'll get into it more by just talking about her experiences and the things that make her who she is.
Speaker 2:So Carrie is a mother of five, which is awesome, and she has really tackled some major issues in her life that are important, like poverty, food insecurity, and has inspired many communities and many people, myself included, in the United States and in New Zealand, and she is the founder of Feed the Need charity in New Zealand, which I think we'll talk a little bit about today, which I was blown away by that story the first time I heard it. She also leads in Utah, reach Out Today, which is a nonprofit dedicated to serving vulnerable children, youth and refugees we can talk a little bit about that likely today and has some just amazing stories and a lady who really does follow what she feels God is telling her, which I'm inspired by. In fact, a little tidbit I kind of like this it's cool is she was awarded the member of the New Zealand Order of Merit by Queen Elizabeth II for her contributions to children's welfare. That's a pretty big thing to have happen to you. So, carrie, sorry I'm going to be quiet.
Speaker 2:now we're going to ask you lots of questions and and about your life and um, about why you have a heart that gives back so much. That's great, that's great.
Speaker 1:So Carrie? Um, based on the bio and the things that if I was listening to this podcast I'd be like, okay, who is this lady? How do you identify Carrie Owen? What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about yourself? Is it a charitable person or is it mother? How do you identify as when someone says who's Carrie Owen?
Speaker 3:I feel like my main role is a mother and I was talking earlier with Corey and how I feel like obviously I have the five children of my own, to whom we adopted and, you know, absolutely adore them. But also I feel this feeling of motherhood to, like all the children out there, especially the ones that haven't had that mother's touch, like I really try to find opportunities to let these children know that I love them and I might not know what you you know, activities they like to do, what food they like to do. I don't know anything about their lives, but I know that I love them and I want them to know that and that's a big drive for me.
Speaker 1:I know, based on the story that I've heard of Feed the Need and the origin story of that, that, that is absolutely true. Heard of Feed the Need and the origin story of that, that that is absolutely true. Would you tell some of our listeners how Feed the Need started in New Zealand and, overall, the change that happened in the system to make sure that the children in New Zealand were being fed and taken care of?
Speaker 3:Okay, well, I wasn't expecting this turn of events, but I ended up having a dream, and in the initial dream I saw children that were going hungry, thousands and thousands of children that were going hungry. At that time, when we'd moved from England to New Zealand, we'd taken our English TV and we couldn't connect it to the New Zealand TV, and so we had no idea of the news or what was happening. But having this dream opened my eyes to the suffering, and I felt the next morning that I had found my calling in life. But then I got busy and thought well, you know, I'm juggling a lot as it is, you know, I'm not even a New Zealander, how do I even go about doing these things? And so I kind of let time slip away a little bit.
Speaker 3:But then a second dream came, and that dream. But then a second dream came, and that dream I saw the same children as I had before, and, and that was the moment where I felt like, okay, no more time can go under the bridge, I need to take action. And it's a funny thing, these dreams, because I'm very aware of what's happening in those dreams, and I recently heard an interview with a Harvard professor, professor of sleep and he was talking about lucid dreaming and the way he was describing it. I'm like that's what it was. That's what it was, and I actually contacted this professor.
Speaker 1:Because I was really curious.
Speaker 3:And he sent me a book and it just really helped me kind of understand that this is actually something and just one little thing that I read in that book. It was talking about people who have lost her hearing or lost partial hearing have more lucid dreams.
Speaker 3:I actually went deaf in my right ear oh, no kidding and I was like whoa, I never knew that really um, and so that's just a little thing on the side, but, um, I feel like these dreams came from a loving heavenly father who knows each and everyone and knows um people's trials, and he knew these children and what they were going through. And I will never forget the hopelessness that I saw in that dream, and that was probably the saddest thing of all, because I think you know those that are going without, especially children. You know they're in survival mode, but to lose hope is like losing everything. What's the point? And so I really felt like, along with this food, that it was really important that these children know that there are people out there that care for them, even if they haven't got that care at home or they've been removed from family or if they've gone through neglect and abuse. That I was hoping that my embraces they would be able to feel Jesus' embrace. And so you know, whether it was in a school assembly or anywhere, I would take every opportunity to tell them that I love them. And I know that some of them heard that, because I got letters, and there was one letter which I think my husband has hid from me because I can't find it after all these years, but in this letter there was a picture of a woman which I realised was me, with all colour and flowers, sunshine, blue sky. And then, on the left-hand side, was this child black and white clouds, rain, sadness. And this child said when you told us you loved us, that was the first time I've been told that. Um, please don't forget me, please don't forget me, please don't forget me. I'll never forget. Forget me, please don't forget me. I'll never forget you. I'll never forget you, I'll never forget you.
Speaker 3:And I tried to search for that child, because it didn't say which room they were in, you know. And so I never found that child. But there is a little bit of a follow-on story. But I know that every opportunity that I have that's an important part of it not just to provide the need, whether it's clothing, food, hygiene items or so on, but also to let them know that they're cared for and so reminding them back a little bit how to feed the need happen. And so, basically, I convinced my husband that we use our savings and that we find a unit and I build a kitchen in it, and that I, and you know, try and find these kids that I saw in my dreams.
Speaker 3:Um, but it wasn't kind of as easy as I thought it was going to be. Um one to convince my husband, and then secondly, um, you know, to do it with, you know, three children in tow, and then to find out that we were selected to adopt, and so I had a baby in my little pouch, and so it was like, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna do this. But I still didn't know where the children were from my dreams, and so what I did initially was just approach local schools, asked if there were any families that were struggling and that I could provide their lunches, and so I'd just drop off the lunches to those schools and then eventually, on the way to go and visit our adopted daughter's biological family for a visit, we were driving down the highway and I looked out and I said to my husband, where are we? And so he said the place we're at, and it was called Otara in South Auckland, and I said this is where the children are, this is where they are, and so then it was a case of trying to get gain their trust, the principal's trust, that I'm here to stay, um, and so I missed out the third dream, and so this is where I'll bring it in.
Speaker 3:So, basically, I had a third dream, and in my third dream I was dressed all posh and everyone was dressed really nicely, and we were in this government building of New Zealand and I saw these big brown doors and there was this Maori man that was stood next to the door and he was holding some keys and he gestured for me to come and walk through that door and there was no word spoken.
Speaker 3:I just went, he opened this door with those keys and as I walked through I walked into this bright light and that was the end of my dream.
Speaker 3:Well, sometime later, before I got to that point where I was ready to get into the area that I knew where the children were, I saw this man at a conference, stood on one of the seats, on the pews, and I said to my husband that's the man from my dream. And so I managed to find out his phone number and name. But then I had to pluck up my courage to call him, because you know, it's kind of unusual to say, hey, I had a dream about you, and so I took my time. But this one day I felt like I've got to do it and so I gave him a call and um, I said, oh, um, you don't know me. My my name's Kerry Erin. And he said oh, I've been waiting for your call, and at that time, the only people that knew my dreams were my family, one friend and my husband, and so I was initially kind of dumbfounded like why would he be?
Speaker 3:waiting for my call and then I just said have you had a dream about me? So I hadn't even told him I'd had a dream about him at this point and so I said, oh, have you had a dream about me?
Speaker 3:And he said I have. So I thought, okay, I'm going to test this. So I said what did? Can I ask what you dreamt? And he said yeah. He said I was, um, basically. He said I saw an image of a white woman and he said are you blonde? I said yeah, I mean I have highlights, but yeah and um, he was just like okay. And he said you were holding a baby.
Speaker 3:I was like oh yeah, we've just adopted a baby girl. And he was like okay. He said, well, I saw you in the government building of New Zealand. And that was like whoa. And he said, and you know, he said I stood at this door holding some keys. And he said and as you walked through this door, you walked into a bright light. So it was like exactly yeah. And so he was just like I think we need to meet, and I said, yeah, I think.
Speaker 1:You think?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so that was. I came downstairs after that phone call and I said to Matt, you never, that's my husband. I said you'll never guess what just happened. He was like, okay, what? I'm like, what you just, you just never will guess what happened. And he was like okay, are you gonna tell me? And I just kept saying it over and over you'll never guess what happened, because it's not every day. Two people have the same, you know, have the same dream and see each other in the dreams. Um, and it's never happened, since it's one in a lifetime. It's amazing.
Speaker 3:And so from there he came over with his wife and there was a little bit more to that conversation, but basically it turned out that he was a Kamatra, which is a Maori chief, and so I asked him. I said you know why would you be in the government building? And he said, oh, I work for the government, I do work for the government for Maori health, said, oh, I work for the government, I do work for the government for Maori health. And I'm like, oh, okay, so there was some synergy there and anyway, we had an amazing conversation and I was really glad that my husband could hear it and feel it, because I think he was going along with you, I think he believed in my dreams, but I think it's a lot to you know, I think it just helped having that another person talk about this and you know that this is our purpose, this is what I need to do, and so he was very supportive after that. And then it was just a case of, okay, we need to get another space that we could build a kitchen in in South Auckland, and so I ended up reaching out to the Salvation Army and met with one of their directors and they agreed to the space, and then it kind of went from there and we kind of had this partnership which worked really well.
Speaker 3:And then this Maori man. He said I can get us into the schools. And he said I'll get you into a Maori school which is called a kora. And someone has asked me this before are you, are they separated from the whites? I said, um, they choose to be. They want to have their own language, they want to. They don't want that lost, which I totally agree with. It's a beautiful language. I miss hearing it every day. But um, yeah, so he actually approached one of the curlers and said you know, this is. I want to just tell you the story.
Speaker 3:And so they had me come in and just before we went in, not long before we went in, he asked me. He said you need to share your dreams with them. And I was like, oh no, we, I don't do that. Um, no, that's not what I do. And um, he said, trust me, you need to share your dreams with them. Um, so when it was time for me to stand up, I awkwardly said hi, my name's Kerry. And then, as soon as I started talking about the dreams, they all leaned forward and listened and I was realized in that moment this is their language, like I'm talking their language. And so they gave permission and actually the principal gave the phrase well, kerry, you have now adopted 183 children, which were the children in the car, and that meant something to me, because we'd adopted twice. You know, that was kind of like and that's how I do feel about children in general Just like I just want to like, hug them all and, you know, look after them and yeah, so, yeah. So that was the beginning so feed the need.
Speaker 1:Just so that I understand this and I think maybe a lot of other people listening to the podcast in in the schools they are not provided a lunch like we are used to here in the states so right.
Speaker 3:So basically, when I moved to New Zealand, I'd moved from England where there was a system like there is here. So my dad had been raised using that system. Um, and you know, um, you know, it was like I just thought that was everywhere. I know that's naive, but I thought when we moved to New Zealand you know it's part of the Commonwealth and I thought that that service would would be there I chose to make my kids like lunch boxes that they take every day. I never even questioned that there wasn't food, and so when the dream came, I was like, oh, so I kind of did a bit of research. We didn't have a tv. I'm like, okay, so I did a bit of research, and that's when I realized, oh, there's not actually a system in place, so, like, these kids will just go hungry all day, and so that was the case at the beginning.
Speaker 3:Um, and I ended up, um, so the Maori man's daughter, laurie she's actually trained as a nutritionalist and we ended up working very closely together, um, and ended up getting a lot of people, a lot of people, a lot of people volunteering, a lot of people that, thankfully, you know, believed in my dreams and wanted to, you know help. But one day I met this woman who was in the political arena and we had an amazing conversation and she was also very passionate about helping those that were struggling in poverty. And we just talked about passionate about helping those that were struggling in poverty, and we just talked about food in schools and I said, well, you know, I really feel like you're that person that can make it happen. And she ended up serving on our board and eventually becoming prime minister and not long after she was prime minister, she brought in the food in schools.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. So that was incredible. Yeah, so you started that scene.
Speaker 3:Well, I think you know she she agreed with it.
Speaker 2:You created awareness.
Speaker 3:Yes, I do, I do. Well, there was a show called the Sunday show and um, where I was interviewed and asked questions, and I definitely think that it started a national conversation for sure yeah, and now.
Speaker 1:School lunch is provided in New Zealand for all school children yes, there's been some changes with the change of government.
Speaker 3:You know how you see the different changes coming in, and so I'm not quite sure how that's going to look. But yeah, there is a food system in schools.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's yeah, that's a real relief. Thank you, that's an amazing accomplishment.
Speaker 2:There's probably still lots of children who obviously go without food in the world, especially third world countries. Give us an overview of that, like do you, are there other places where kids aren't getting fed when they're in school?
Speaker 3:I mean, besides those who aren't going to school and living in places where there isn't an infrastructure well, I mean in new zealand I know that still it's a struggle on the weekends and school holidays um to access food and so Feed the Need still carries on and provides food for those times. And obviously across the world you see images. I remember, you know, as a child being very sort of drawn to images on the news and kind of losing sleep over it. And I think something that probably I struggle with is I want to fix everything and like, but we can't. But we can make a difference where we are and we can do a lot more than we think we're probably capable of. I think most people would have thought I was justified to think.
Speaker 3:I'm busy Totally. I've already got this going on, I've got my health struggles, and I think sometimes we tell ourselves we're too busy. But I really do feel like for me anyway that I feel everyone has a purpose and that, you know, with God's help we can do great good yeah.
Speaker 2:I have to say I imagine that's why God speaks to you the way he does. I mean, not everyone gets dreams, but everyone is spoken to in one way or another. Maybe you should tell us, instead of me hypothesizing, what it is. But why do you think God has given you these dreams and has talked to you so much about how you can help others?
Speaker 3:I don't know, I actually don't know. People will say, oh, I wish I had dreams like that. But you know, I sort of feel like, oh, it's, it's like something that comes with a responsibility and it's actually a huge burden. Um, and the three dreams that I had in New Zealand were really just the beginning, and so when I do have a dream, it's like I've got another rucksack on my back. Is that what you call them?
Speaker 3:yeah, it looks like on my back full of rocks, and you just got to keep going, keep carrying on. And I said in that interview that you'd seen the other day, I do get tired. I get tired and sometimes feel like it's just too much, but I think it's because there's also that sort of I don't know how to put it I feel a lot of like compassion, empathy, I don't know, and that's what probably drives me but also burdens me, because I just want to fix it now, get there, now you know, and yeah.
Speaker 2:I believe it's because you act on the promptings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I was going to say too, god's given it to you, even though there are rock sacks, maybe I should stop.
Speaker 2:You're changing lives, individual lives in a major way and whole nations in a way. So talk to us about what brought you to Utah and what inspired you to help the children here.
Speaker 3:Okay. So, um, I had a dream, surprise, surprise. And in that dream, um, I saw this house on the top of a hill, um, and there was pine trees, um, outside the house it was like a white fence fencing outside the house. It was like a white fence fencing and this was. I began searching for this house in New Zealand I didn't know where it was. Every new building estate I'd be going there talking to the builders Like, so what's the style of the house, is that going to be built? Because I had this picture of what it was. And eventually, a few years later, I was back in this place, outside the same house that I dreamt on years earlier, and I said, father, where is this? And I was told to turn around. And when I looked opposite, there was a cul-de-sac opposite and there was an American flag flying. And I was was like no way, I'm not moving again.
Speaker 3:Side of the world and that was my initial reaction I don't want to move, I don't want me, I didn't want to move just because I just love new zealand, and but that's I said to matt. Okay, you know that dream that I had. Well, it's in america, I don't know where in america. Again, there's a long story, but eventually we found ourselves at the top of this hill with a white picket fence outside and pine trees and opposite a flagpole.
Speaker 1:In a cul-de-sac, in a cul-de-sac, yeah.
Speaker 3:So I know that was why. Well, we were meant to be here, but I didn't know why. And so when we first arrived here, I was praying about like, okay, what are we doing here? Is there even any need? You know, because in the neighborhood that we've bought into, you know everyone's doing well.
Speaker 3:But within a few weeks of being in that home, the dreams began, and so I knew that okay, yeah. And so I was actually approached. I've got a cousin that lives here and he and a friend of his had set up Reach Out Today, a 501c3. And they'd actually approached me and said, like, with all your experience in New Zealand, could you do this? You know we can't pay you, but you know you'd do an amazing job, you know sort of thing. And I said, well, let me think about it. But then, once the dreams began, I'm like okay, because it was almost like it was there, given to me, you know, and it was like, okay, this is what I need to do you did move from New Zealand, so yeah, was that the only reason that you moved from New Zealand?
Speaker 3:yeah, wow, so my husband actually um at work. So the following day after I'd had that dream about this house and the American flag, and the following day, matt went into work and his boss was American and he said oh, have you ever thought about you know, working in America? Yeah, that was the first time and he was just like before. He'd always said no, but because of you know, he was like yeah, I'm open to it and your, your husband's, british he is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're both British, yeah, yeah, um. And so we actually um, had our first child in England. We adopted our second child in England and then moved over to New Zealand and then had another child, naturally, adopted another child and then had another child. I was like, okay, where do I, where can I find the need? And I thought, okay, in England I went into the schools.
Speaker 3:You know, they know, the teachers know, the school counsellors know what the deal is. And so the first school district I went to was the Granite School District, and then the next one was Ogden, and then you know, one after another, and what I've learned over all the years is if you go in with a pen and paper, you can fill that pad of paper with needs. So, for example, up in Ogden, one of the school counsellors said to me you know, we have a lot of kids in my school that are transient, as in um, moving from foster home back to grandmother, to mom, to boyfriend. You know there's a lot of movement, um, and I have on average this is what the school counsellor said 45 kids that soil or wet themselves per week.
Speaker 3:And he said and I'm using my time going off to the laundromat trying to get their clothes cleaned, instead of using my time to help. You know, give them counseling and so forth and help them. And so that was kind of the first thing we did. We started, um, providing clothing, Um, and then it was the first thing we did, we started providing clothing. And then it was just one thing after another. So, for example, one of the counsellors said you know, we had this boy come to the office saying that he's sharing a toothbrush with his dad and his brother, and could he have a toothbrush? And I'm like, oh, my goodness right. So we started putting together these hygiene packs. We started the pop-up salons.
Speaker 3:I'm not a hairdresser, you won't trust me, but um, they asked, and so I was like okay, and so you know. Thankfully I found some hairdressers what do you call them hairstylists here?
Speaker 3:sorry, neither um, and who were willing to come do two hour block, and that was an incredible experience. Just one of the lads that I was washing his hair. Um, he said to me I don't think I've had my hair washed for two years and I was like really, and I said why is that? And he said, well, there's 13 of us 13 of us in the trailer and there's never hot water, there's never shampoo. And I wasn't not sure if I believed it because I'm like two years is a long time. As I'm washing him, I wasn't wearing gloves. That was the first time I did a pop-up salon.
Speaker 3:I've always worn gloves since um my hands, like I could not, I could not get rid of the smell for like two or three days and I was using everything, and so I believed him, like I was like this was for real but this young man was like walking down the corridor, he had long hair and he was just feeling like a million dollars and it was just like.
Speaker 2:This is what it's all about, you know yeah, I remember when you first told me that story and I just was a little bit in shock. We're talking about your backyard right now. Yeah, I'm not talking about where both Corey and I grew up. Yeah, exactly Ogden. Oh okay, he lives in North Ogden. I grew up yeah, exactly Ogden. Oh okay, I didn't know that he lives in North Ogden. I grew up there. So I remember when you told me this story the first time and there's more of the story but I just thought, wait, in our backyard, I got to help with this. This is nuts.
Speaker 1:I remember the Ogden Rotary Club had a fill the need I think it's what they called it during the summertime and we would go and help.
Speaker 1:They'd bring food from the pantry and Catholic community services and LDS family services at the pantry, the Bishop storehouse would bring food to the parking lot of the school so that the families could come up and pick up enough food for them to get through the weekend, because they depended so much on the school lunch and the school breakfast program Because a lot of times they would eat school lunch and they wouldn't eat again until they came to school the next morning.
Speaker 1:And when you have no school in the summertime, there's just this huge gap. And I remember taking my kids to that and standing in the parking lot and being able to like explain to them like this box of cereal is their breakfast for the weekend and they'll come back again next week. And I remember just like watching my kids realize that this was happening in their backyard. And so some of the programs that you're working on now here in the state of utah, tell us about those, um, and because I know that there's several different uh emphases that you're that you're making and some of them is transitional housing and and things like that. So tell us a little bit about some of the things that you're working on right now.
Speaker 3:So one of the programs is Feed the Gap, which you were just kind of talking about, and as you were talking, it reminded me of a story that actually took place up in Ogden where somebody noticed that someone was on their property and phoned the police. Police came over and found that there was this woman with her two young children going through trash cans trying to find food. And so that was actually in Ogden and um, and that was kind of like whoa, is it that bad? Like to go through people's trash trash cans trying to find food? Um, so we do feed the gap, which is we have pantry packs and we have meal packs and we have snack packs, um, and so, yeah, we'll bring those and drop them off to school districts and it'll just kind of um, be in their pantries.
Speaker 3:Um, there was another time this was in the uh, actually I can't remember what district, sorry, but there was um another um school that told us of a boy that moved into the school district and had gone into the pantry and had started crying straight away when he was told he can just fill up the bag and he just carried on crying and they were like trying to understand why he was crying and he said can I get food for my sister? That's what he said. And, um, they said yeah, and he was like okay, and then he just kept crying and crying. As he was filling the, he got a bag for his sister back from him and he was filling up these bags and and then eventually they heard the story and this little boy had been asked by his mom.
Speaker 3:She was a single mom and she was struggling and she said we have to choose between food this winter or heating. I'm going to let you make the choice, which is so sad for a little, you know, seven-year-old boy to have to think about. And um, and this boy said heating, he wanted to be warm. And so she said, well, okay, when I'm out of work, you'll need to try and find some food from the neighbors or wherever. That's going to be your thing to try and find food for you. It's you and your sister, and so the burden that little boy would have had, you know, um, like I've never forgot that story and I think kind of what like really hit me was it was like 15 minutes from my house, you know like I pulled up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, wakes you up a little bit yeah and you're just like gosh, we've been given so much and yet there's a struggling mother who's asking her seven-year-old to make a choice between heating or food, and yeah, so these pantries, like, are really important, and so we do feed the gap to help those pantries. You know, have enough for the demand. We do, um, um, we do so many. That's the problem, okay, so we do close the gap, um, and so, yeah, trying to get clothing for them, um, and then we do hide in the gap and so that, um, yeah, like I said about the toothbrush, and so we have all sorts shampoos, conditions, deodorants, um, sometimes, um, like combs, hairbrushes, toothpaste, yeah, you know all sorts. And then we have done like washing powder, like laundry detergent, and then we have the transition gap, which is where I met Corey. And so at the beginning, when I first came here, like I said, I went to the schools.
Speaker 3:Well, I also went and met with DCFS and I met with Utah foster care and I met with different organizations, anyone that's working with kids. I kind of wanted to talk to them, just find out if there was any gaps and if I could do anything to help. I didn't promise anything because it was just me, but like I just kind of wanted to know, um, and when I met with DCFS they just said, you know, like often when youth age out of foster care, um, they're sick of the system, they want to be out, they want to be independent. But six to twelve months down the road they're in desperate situations. They may have gone back to biological family hoping that they could, you know, work things out, but it doesn't work out. They might go back to previous foster carers, but they're fostering new kids and they can only shelter them for a few days or a week or so, and so a lot of these youth end up homeless, um, end up, you know, um incarcerated, um taking drugs and so forth, and the statistics are like really high, you know. And I just thought they really don't have a chance, you know.
Speaker 3:And so they were just talking about an organisation called Milestone, which is run through Salt Lake County, and how they have these wraparound services for these youth. They help them with everything, whether it's getting their social security number, whether it's like applying for an interview if they need a suit, you know, and just actually also having like housing for them, so then they can have a period of time after they age out of foster care that they can try and thrive with the wraparound care. And when I met with Milestone Minna, who's directing it, um, she said to me we are turning away youth every week because we don't have enough housing. And I'm like thinking because one of the dreams was about this and I just thought we need to do more. We need to do more for these youth. They've already had a rough upbringing. Maybe they've never been told they're loved, you know, um, maybe they've experienced stuff that we can't even imagine. And then, as a society, we're saying okay, off you go.
Speaker 1:As a society, we're saying okay, off you go. Yeah, good luck.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then we wonder why we have homelessness, why we have these issues, and so I really felt, when she said that, I was like, right, okay, this is something to work on. And that's when the project began 2018. And so it was just kind of a case of like okay, who do I go to, who do I talk to? And so on. Ended up talking to Corey and you felt as passionate about this as myself and wanted to do something, wanted to be involved. You know, we talked about maybe buying land building something or maybe renovating something. Um, you know we talked about maybe buying land building something or maybe renovating something. Um, and then ended up doing some speeches to the salt lake rotary and boom, they're amazing, if you want anything done, go to them.
Speaker 3:Um, and so did a few speeches with them and they were like, yeah, we want to do this, and so it really was a collaborative thing. And I would say the same in New Zealand it was a collaborative thing. I think, like when you want to get something done, you have to find like-minded people and you know, together you're stronger and you're able to make a difference. And so the Salt Lake Rotary along you know, some other great people and Corey's big D check at the beginning. She's giving me too much credit. So, yeah, it kind of made things happen. And so now last year, last June, they did the ribbon cutting Beautiful building, Beautiful building.
Speaker 1:Tell us about it. What is it, how many does it serve?
Speaker 3:and so it's in mill creek it has nine apartments and, um, there's three bedrooms in each apartment, um, and what's cool about it, what's cool about milestone, is that all of them are employed and, as far as I know, nine of them are, are also in education, higher education, which is gonna help set them up for life, and they they anything they need. You know, they can just go to their um, so they have people that live in as well, um, and so they're, you know, in a brilliant situation. You know, I mean, they still will have trauma that they have to go through, they're still going to be troubled in some ways, but they've got a chance and actually the statistics for milestone, for the youth aged out milestone, is good, really good, and so it just shows to me that, like, if you can offer wraparound care and if you can offer, you know, housing for that vulnerable space in between, you know, aging out of foster care and being independent, then I think there needs to be more of that, like. I'd love to see that in every country.
Speaker 2:I'm sure they're still turning away here, given the new housing. I mean, if you look, at the entire wasatch front. I'm sure we still have a need yeah what? What age do they? Do they um age out of foster care? And then, what age do they age out of milestone?
Speaker 3:so when I spoke to dcfs they said they don't have to age out at 18 anymore, like they have shifted that.
Speaker 3:But most of them do because they kind of blame the system. You know, they kind of some of them haven't had the best experience. I mean I talk about in the book actually about a girl that I met who we found out it was her birthday so we thought we'd surprise her with a gift and sing happy birthday and she actually went and crawled under a table and was rocking and crying and I was confused because I'm like we're here celebrating your birthday and when I went into the table, um, she said no one's sung me happy birthday before, no one's sung me happy birthday before, and she was like scratching her arms but and blood was coming out and so she just wasn't used to it, which is like absolutely like mind blown to me that a child can go through the system and never be celebrated, their birthday never recognized, never get a present or a gift or know, you know, know that there is actually people out there that care for them. That's amazing.
Speaker 1:You've been blessed with an extraordinary amount of empathy, but I think, in addition to that, you've been blessed with the ability to act on your empathy. And if there's anything I'm taking away from this today, it's that when I get whispered to and when I feel God talks to me, or like sometimes I say at the end of the podcast, act on each good thought. If we act on those things, then we're given more and more opportunity to feel that, because I don't know about you, but I think the most satisfying things in my life have been those things that I've been prompted to do and that I did, no matter how hard they were. And I think the more and more we do that, that's a muscle that we have to use and grow, and if we don't use it we lose it. And the more we use it, the happier we become, although in your case, you've you've identified this as almost like a burden, because it's like God knows you're going to go do this. If he tells you to you, you know that that's that, that's your calling, and and what a wonderful thing.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about this last night. There's very few times in my life that I feel like I have met people that know with a surety what their life's calling is. If you think about the people that you interact with and that you know family, friends, associates, business partners there's very few of them that I can look at and say that person knows why they're here. I can look at and say that person knows why they're here, like not just like theoretically, but they know for a fact why God has put them in the place that they're at right now. And it's refreshing to find somebody that that I know, that you know why you're here, and it inspires me.
Speaker 3:It kind of reminds me of a conversation that I had with somebody who was in a position of power in government in New Zealand and he was also a very successful businessman, and we ended up he ended up helping with the charity work that I did there and vice versa. And this one day he said to me do you believe in God? I was like I do. He was like do you really? I was like no, I do. And he was just like, okay, prove to me that God is real. I was like, oh, okay, and so I thought I've just got stories.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to start doing bible scriptures and stuff, I'm just going to go with stories. And so I shared a story with him and he was just like and he is like really intelligent, got a million PhDs, like seriously scientists through and through, very like ultra clever. I never went to college. Um, you know, I did struggle at school. And so I thought, well, the only thing I've got is stories, so we'll go with that. And so I shared a story with him and he was like, tell me another one. So I was like, okay, so I told him another one. He was like okay, you've got to tell me one more.
Speaker 3:And he was actually dropping me off at the airport and he said I'm going to come into the airport with you. And so he walked me into the airport and, um, he was just like okay, it's obvious that you know you have a calling in life. And he said so, what's mine? And I thought about it and I thought, because he was a natural leader, like people looked up to him. Um, he, you know, would go into a room and everyone would stop, like he was that sort of way. And I said to him I said I think you're meant to be a leader, a righteous leader, and he was like and he was like I'm not so righteous, I'm like but you can work on it like you know. That's what I feel like you can be. You can be a righteous leader. And he actually ended up getting very emotional and he was crying and he said I don't, if God is real, I don't think he would love me.
Speaker 1:And I was like he does.
Speaker 3:He does love you and he was like I've made a lot of mistakes. I said no, but he'll still love you and he said I hope you're right. Anyway, as I was walking off to the plane, he was still crying and he messaged me later that day and he said you've given me a lot to think about, um, and we're still in contact today, um, and I hope that. Uh, I hope that, because I really feel like once people recognize what their calling is, it gives them a clear direction and you know, when the things come as they do with everybody, all of us you know you have challenges. You can kind of still see that end goal and not be distracted by things of the world or whatnot. You know, you can kind of keep focused. He's actually gone on to climb even higher on the ladder in the government and is doing great stuff, so, yeah, so when you talked about the calling thing, I think most people would like to know what their calling is and I think they can get the answer yeah.
Speaker 1:It's an interesting question to maybe ask, like it took courage for him to ask you what do you think my calling is? Maybe the people that know us best. We could ask them that same question. And you know, because I think a lot of times we want to know how the world sees us, because we only see ourselves through our own eyes. And if you are patient and open to the answer of how does the world see me? What are my gifts that I may not see, that others do, then we can build on those gifts.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean you sent me in the email a list of questions and so I thought, well, I'll just ask my kids.
Speaker 1:See what they say.
Speaker 3:There were some funny answers. One of the questions was how do you connect with your kids? And I said snuggle, like I always snuggle them. And anyway we had a bit of a laugh because I always say do you need a snuggle, wuggle, just like an extra hug? And you know my kids all with muslin goals, they know that they're loved um, but yeah, I kind of feel like, yeah, if we go to our families, they'll come out hopefully with some answers and there's things that they came back with that I thought, oh yeah, that's true, like. So one of the things it's like you know what, um? One of the questions you asked was you know, is there anything that we'd do different?
Speaker 3:and so I asked my one son. He said nothing, you're amazing. And I asked the next one. He said stop hugging us as much. Then I asked the next one and as I was going down the line, I'm like this is getting worse. So maybe I was better with the first kid.
Speaker 3:I don't know, but um, yeah. So I think, yeah, asking family and friends um what they think um our calling is or what our strengths are. I remember being asked um, you know, what are my gifts in life? I've been asked that by a young woman and who was going through a difficult time, and I said, well, I don't know because I don't know you well enough, but let's talk. You know, um, but sometimes I think, with gifts, you have to kind of like, also do your part. So you know, I might have that dream and then it's like, okay, that could just be a dream, but you have to act upon it, you know, and so you might have a prompting, you know. However, you know those feelings come to you, the you know, don't suppress a good thought or whatever. Like, whenever you have those sort of things come to you. Don't suppress a good thought or whatever. Whenever you have those sort of things come to you, just kind of go with it, even if it doesn't make sense or doesn't seem logical.
Speaker 1:Like move to America because you've got a dream of a house.
Speaker 2:You might have already answered this question and what you just said, but I want to phrase it to you in a different way. If one of your kids came to you and said mom, how do I know what I'm supposed to do? How do I know what my calling is in life, what advice would you give your kids to say here's how you figure that out and here's what you listen for and like. What would you say to them if they said, hey, I want to know what I need to do, like what's my purpose and I want to connect in that way? What would you?
Speaker 3:say to your own kids Well, I think you could probably agree. Each of your kids are different.
Speaker 2:True.
Speaker 3:And so, you know, I think each of my kids have different strengths, and so we have one of our kids that are struggling with mental health at the moment, which is probably one of the biggest, like one of the hardest things as a parent, um, and so whenever your kid is sick, whether it's physical, mentally or so forth, um, you just want to fix it. Um, a couple of years ago, our youngest son got scarlet fever and sepsis and ended up in hospital and you know, you just think, oh, could I have done anything different? Um, he was tested for strep but it was like a negative, positive, negative, I'm not sure, but it wasn't accurate. Um, and I thought to myself, well, maybe I should have just kind of been more assertive at the hospital or so on. Um, but this one kid that is struggling with mental health, um, he, he was our first adopted son and he's kind of on a journey of belonging. And and I said to him, I said you know, maybe you're going through this because in the future you're going to be able to help reach people who struggle with depression and anxiety, because I haven't, I haven't struggled with depression. I mean, I might get nervous, but I haven't, I've been lucky I haven't suffered with depression, I said but you know there's people out there that you know that can actually offer a lot of good and a lot of healing because they've been there themselves. Um, I think sometimes people who are going through something difficult um want to know that the other person that's giving them advice knows what they're talking about, and so that's. I was just thinking of that as an example. Like that, maybe future down the line, like his calling is to help those that are in those dark spaces, because he knows what it feels like, um, so yeah, each of the children I think my children I kind of have an idea. I mean, it's only my own idea, I'm not saying that that is it, but I feel like each of them have got different experiences, different perspectives, and I feel like they've all got something good to bring in the world.
Speaker 3:My son is actually serving a mission in Orlando, florida, at the moment, and the first week he was there, you know, there was the hurricane and there was a lot of cleanup afterwards. There was the hurricane and there was a lot of cleanup afterwards. And when we did a FaceTime after the few weeks after the hurricane, he's like mom, I love charity work and I'm like boom success. But he needed to go and help in a hurricane to figure that, you know. And so my hope is all of them, all my kids, will be charitable and we'll go out and do something good in the world. That's my hope for my kids, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's fantastic. Unfortunately, we're running out of time. I think we need to do a part one, part two.
Speaker 1:I have a feeling she has a few more stories I know. I would love to hear.
Speaker 2:And only if they were appropriate. And again, I wish we had time right now. But now I'm curious, like this man in New Zealand that you talked to and you gave him two or three stories of why you believe God is real, Like I want those now, whether they're on air or off. Okay yeah, those, I'm so curious as to what those stories were. Because I'm so curious as to what those stories were.
Speaker 1:If you'd be willing to come back.
Speaker 2:I think both Corey and I and everybody listening we would love to have you back, although I know your time is precious with all your kids and everything you do.
Speaker 3:No, I'd be happy to come back.
Speaker 2:That'd be awesome. There's so much we haven't talked about, I know.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:Well, I think this was the getting to know you phase. Face is the getting know your podcast, and then, uh. So what I want to do is I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave this um, this dangling, because if I'm listening to this podcast and I'm hearing that there's this need in my community and whether it's in Ogden, Utah, or New Zealand, or Atlanta, Georgia or Philadelphia, it's probably everywhere and there's kids that need this empathy and love and action, Are there organizations that people can contact that are helping to fill this need? Can they contact your organization? I want to give somebody an outlet If they say can I write a check? Can I volunteer? Can I like my experience with Feed the Gap, or am I saying that right?
Speaker 3:In New Zealand it's Feed's feed the need.
Speaker 1:Well, here with the Rotary Club feed the gap. That was kind of a core memory for me to take my kids and do that, and that was probably I don't know eight years ago okay that was a great opportunity. Um, how do people get involved? How do they help? How do they help the organizations that you are currently spearheading Like? I want to give people an outlet to like, if you've been prompted while you've been listening to do something, tell them what they can do.
Speaker 3:So here the organization that I direct is reachouttodayorg. It's 100% volunteer-based, so no one gets paid, so every cent that is donated, so if someone writes a $100 check, every cent will go to the need. People can specify what they want that to go to, so they can look at our different programs and say I want that to go to here or I want that to go to there, which is kind of cool. And so now they can be rest assured to know that that will go directly to where they choose so can they venmo you yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So on the website, um, there's a venmo link, um, and then there are other great organizations out there who are doing amazing things. I think, wherever you are like, whichever state you're in, whichever city you're in, I mean, you could actually also just do your own thing if you wanted to. There was um, uh, someone who'd heard my story felt inspired to go and uh into one of the schools and give them a thousand dollar check and say use it whatever you need to use it, and um, and what I love I know we've run out of time, but what I love is how, when people hear stories and are moved, they go on and do some incredible things. And I remember getting emails back saying I saw your story and I decided to go to Mongolia and donate an ambulance random but brilliant and there was just all these different stories of people going out doing amazing stuff around the world.
Speaker 3:So I don't think it necessarily has to be, you know, I don't know. I just feel like we can all do good. Whether it's big or small, we can all make a difference, and whether we go out and talk to schools, dcfs, whatever, or we go and connect with organizations who are on the ground doing the work. There's options out there. You know, even if we've only got like an hour spare a week, there's going to be people who need that hour off you to be able to do something good.
Speaker 2:How do people continue to get inspired by you, carrie? So, like, how do they access your book, or books Like, where do we go for that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, we didn't even talk about the book I know.
Speaker 2:I know, but we can get into that one next time, but let's give them if they want to read more about you and your story and and what, what you know. Where do they go to find that?
Speaker 3:Okay, so the only thing that's been published right now is in a book called the not so secret lives of real Mormon wives and and I've got a section in there which talks about a little bit about Feed the Need and outreach out today and a little bit of just my childhood and where I came from, my parents and siblings and so forth. There is another book coming, but it hasn't been published yet.
Speaker 1:But I'll let you know when that comes out, perfect, okay, so at the end of every podcast and we've had women on the podcast before, so you can modify this question for yourself with it being the gentlemen project podcast, we believe that gentlemen are kind of. You know, the best of the best of us and you would be considered a lady in every sense of the word If I was to use lady as a synonym for gentlemen. So what do you think it means to be a lady or a gentleman?
Speaker 3:Um, I feel that women have a little bit of something. Um, that women have a little bit of something that comes a little bit more natural. I think I can't speak for everyone.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 3:But I feel like we have been given that little extra dose of compassion, little bit of dose of should I say selflessness. I think, as mothers, you have to, you have to kind of do it, and I think that men are completely capable to have all that if they open their eyes and take action and do something. Um, and so I was talking to Corey earlier just about my own husband and how you know there's things which he's struggled with. You know, having all the donations come into the garage which has has been organised and labelled, then all this stuff arrives and so on. I mean there's a long list, and so you know. But then when he's gone and he's, you know, witnessed like you did with your kids eight years ago with the Rotary, it changes you, and I think that these moments have changed him and made him want to be more charitable, want to be more giving, want to be more giving, want to be more compassionate, and so I think, for all of us, I think that that's within us, and so to be a lady, I think it's to embrace those in need and give them love that they may never have had, and to show kindness and gentleness. Is there even a word? Um, yeah, and just show some compassion.
Speaker 3:There's enough hate in this world, there's enough confusion, there's enough um, discord, you know, and so I think it's up to us to bring that goodness into the world wherever we are, whether we're in a coffee shop or whether we're in a restaurant, whether you're in a building and you, you know, like I walked past somebody who was a cleaner in a building and I just asked how her day was and she was really confused why I was asking her and she said, oh, no one's asked me that before. I think we can just kind of like I'm not putting myself on a pedestal, I'm not. I'm using that story just to kind of illustrate that, wherever we are, there are opportunities to just let people know that they're seen. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's a great answer. Thank you so much. I just don't want to end it, but we're going to have to end it. You're amazing. Thank you so much for your time. Thanks for being an amazing human and for always showing the kindness that you're talking about to to those around you in the world. Thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you for what you're doing.
Speaker 1:So, everybody, if you've felt a prompting today, act on it. Hey, carrie, yeah, thanks for your example. Thanks for spending some time with us today. If you like this podcast, send it to somebody you love. I'm Kirk Chug.
Speaker 2:I'm Corey Moore. I'll see you next time. I'm Mike Pearson. I'll see you next time. I'm Mike Pearson. I'll see you next time. I'm Mike Pearson. I'll see you next time. I'm Mike Pearson. I'll see you next time. I'm Mike Pearson. I'll see you next time. I'm Mike Pearson. I'll see you next time. I'm Mike Pearson. I'll see you next time.
