The Gentlemen Project Podcast
Podcast highlighting impactful stories of parents and what they do to be successful at home and at work. Helping you turn the time you have with your kids into time well spent helping them learn the most important lessons in life. The Gentlemen Project Podcast is hosted by Kirk Chugg and Cory Moore-friends who are passionate about fatherhood and raising the next generation of great kids.
The Gentlemen Project Podcast
“Excuses Don't Make Champions” with Rob Corcoran
Join us as we speak with Rob Corcoran, owner and founder of Influence Relocation Services, a powerhouse real estate firm that has grown to be nationwide. Rob is the father to two young boys, divorced and dating. He brings a perspective to single dads on how he has navigated divorce with kids, blending families and dating rules he has followed that have served him well. Rob touches on challenges he faced as a kid and how that has shaped him into the dad he is today. You'll love the positive perspective Rob brings to fatherhood.
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Hi, I'm Kirk Chugg.
Cory Moore:And I'm Cory Moore.
Kirk Chugg:We are the Gentlemen Project Podcast. We help you turn the time you have with your kids into time well spent.
Cory Moore:Yep. Kirk and I talked a lot about how to be better dads and to raise gentlemen. And we realize that more people wanted to be inspired and talk about that. And thus this gentleman project podcast.
Kirk Chugg:We had lots of conversations with each other and with our friends. And what we decided to do was to record some of these conversations and bring them to you in a podcast. We hope you enjoy
Cory Moore:Today we have Rob Corcoran with us. Rob is a single dad who has figured it out and has some great lessons for us. Yeah, we hope you enjoy the podcast today. For your weekly dose of inspiration and fatherhood, please like and follow the Gentlemen Project Podcast and tell your friends about it. Enjoy the show. We are with Mr. Rob Corcoran. The man the myth, the legend himself. Rob, thanks for joining us.
Rob Corcoran:Thanks for having me. I'm pumped.
Cory Moore:We're gonna have a great conversation with Rob today. Rob, tell us a little bit about you, your business and your boys.
Rob Corcoran:Oh, boy. Well, I own a corporate relocation company called Influence Relocation. We basically move and relocate corporate executives around the country, the fun little niche got into about 10 years ago. And more importantly than that, I got two amazing kids Canyon is 13 and crew is 11. And they are my life and my passion. We have a blast together. And can't wait for you guys to learn more about him. Yeah,
Kirk Chugg:I've seen all the stuff that you do with them, Rob, and it looks to me like you've somewhat got an idea of how to master this integration of a busy lifestyle with like taking your boys along like integrating them into your life. What What have you been doing lately, like what's worked very recently for you with your like, that was a debt success. Man.
Rob Corcoran:I would say well, I'm sitting here with a sprained ankle. I'd say dad success is playing basketball with my kids this weekend. And I tried to take my little guy and it didn't go well. Man. He put me on the floor now on crutches. So I would say that's probably that was a proud doubt the proud dad moment right there. There's no doubt the kids can play ball now. It's a blast.
Kirk Chugg:So you sprained your ankle. You've got a trip coming up next week to go golf.
Rob Corcoran:Yeah, matter of fact, and Cory and I about died when I was on the floor. And both my kids are avid golfers. So they're like, Dad, you gotta be able to go on the trip. I'm like, boys, of course, your dad's going on that trip.
Kirk Chugg:So I've watched videos of you and your kids for probably like the last six or seven years. Yeah. of them on the golf course with you, and you love golf. And you've taken the passion of golf and given it to your boys. What are some of those moments like on the on the course like what's so magic about golf and you and your boys, I just actually got the chills if you could see that you can see my arms right now.
Rob Corcoran:I cannot believe that I have golf is a passion of mine. And I always hoped you know any any father, whether you're in a hunting or golf or whatever, whatever your passion is, you hope that your children want to take part of that. But if they don't, that's their life. And you know, life goes on. But I'm so blessed to both my kids have absolute. They're freaks about golf like their dad is. And it is there's a couple things that go along with it. skiing is a big thing that we do in golf. But the reason I love them so much for the kids is there's no phones, there's no video games, it's it's it's just four to five hours of time together, or friends. So that's an important part of it. But just watching them grow. I mean, my oldest kid beat me for the first time in nine hole straight up legitimately. Like that was an incredible experience. And he goes after me every time now, which is absolutely awesome. But I think it teaches him a lot, right? golf is a game that teaches you. It's about you, there's no one else there to support you. It's all mental. It's about being honest. It's about integrity. And when you have a bad day you get up and do it again. But the end of it you know, at the end of the day, we all pay for that one great shot that we might hit during that particular round. So it's just we have had been fortunate and blessed. We played golf and Grand Cayman we've played golf in Colorado we play golf in California. And we they cannot wait to the big day for us is gonna be Pebble Beach and I keep telling them once they can shoot in the mid 80s we're going to Pebble Beach and I think that's probably going to happen a little bit sooner than I anticipated. So I better start saving but it's it's a I can't even put into words. I mean, I'll give you a quick little story. Two Thanksgivings ago, I wasn't dating anyone was just the boys and I for Thanksgiving I said Where do you want to go? Let's we got four days are like we're going to Las Vegas to go golfing. So we played 36 holes a day but I'll tell you as a father it was the greatest Thanksgiving yet the worst ever. Because all we wanted at nighttime on Thanksgiving Day. Here's a piece of pumpkin pie. Let me tell you, there's Las Vegas folk aren't big into Thanksgiving, we, we ended up, we ended up having a box of Krispy Kreme donut. Hotel. Thanksgiving. I'll never forget that. We still talk about it today.
Kirk Chugg:That's a great fatherhood moment.
Cory Moore:So I know because I know you well, that when your son bu, that was a love hate thing. Oh, absolutely. You hate to lose, even to your son. I'm sure he didn't eat that night. You talked about teaching them a little bit about the integrity and honesty via golf. Do you have conversations while you're playing golf about life lessons
Rob Corcoran:all the time, all the time. We, you know, especially as kids, your emotions are a little bit more radical. I think mine probably still are. And I'm 47. But, you know, I'm talking about you're going through puberty, you're growing up and trying to hold those. The battle, to be honest with you is between the two of them. They're so competitive together, that I tried to help manage those emotions. My little guy wants to be the older one who wants to be Canyon, nonstop. And I let them know, buddy, he's a foot taller. And you he's 40 pounds heavier and you you're going to catch up, you're going to do fine. Well, we were out playing about a week and a half. I know I'm sorry, about about a month ago now. And he actually be there's a little he beat his brother nine holes. And he was so excited. So I've tried to teach him that I think the hardest part for kids is understanding that losing is okay, we as we get older, everyone wants to win. But you don't understand you don't get to feel the greatness of winning without losing, we wouldn't know the difference between the two if you didn't have one or the other throughout your entire life. So it's one of those things that I teach to them constantly. And it's because of their competitive spirits that we have that conversation pretty much every day. As a matter of fact, going back to my sprained ankle, I had to stop the middle of the game, because they're so competitive, knocking each other down, which is great. But there's a point where it gets a little too physical, and dad has to jump in and have that conversation. So it's a good one to have.
Kirk Chugg:So Rob, we've received a couple of feedbacks, emails, text messages from people who have listened to some of the podcasts. And they say, Are you gonna have a dad on? Who's a single dad?
Rob Corcoran:Thanks for picking me.
Kirk Chugg:And I said, Yeah, we actually have a guest scheduled to come on and talk about that. So I'd like to talk a little bit today about how you've managed being a single dad, if you're willing to talk about some of the things that you learned through divorce, and how it's affected kids, absolutely happy to help and, and so share some of those insights that that you think some of those dads out there might want to hear they're in a situation similar to yours.
Rob Corcoran:Yeah. Being a single dad, I don't want to say it's difficult, it's actually been easy. One thing I've learned from divorce and you know, you wish should never happen for you and your spouse, and obviously, your children might have handled it very well. And I think that's a big part of that's because of the way that their mom's handled it and I've handled it, I only live a mile and a half away from my boys. So nothing in their life has really changed in that regard. They go to the same grocery store with mom as they go with dad. I've learned through divorce, that that's actually a very important piece of kids feeling more comfortable and confident. But I will tell you one thing that's come about this as I spend more quality time with my boys, being a divorced dad. And that's probably a sad thing to say, but it's true. Then I then I did when I was married. I mean, when I'm with my boys, there's no dating. I have a girlfriend now, which we'll probably talk about here in a little bit. But there was there's no dating, there's no, there are no business trips. There's nothing when I have my boys. It is the four of us. And we're having, you know, the greatest time that we possibly can have together. So I think I know it sounds crazy, but it's actually been a blessing that when I'm with them for four or five days, I'm with them 24 hours a day for four or five days straight. There are no interruptions once again, no business trips. There's no golf with the guys course called me multiple times, he can tell you, Hey, y'all go on Play Friday afternoon. I'm sorry, I got to pick up the kids from school, you know, and I wouldn't change that for the world. So nothing is interrupted that I think that's probably been the biggest thing for me is the value that I have, you know, on time, Friday afternoons and I work Friday afternoons, when I have the kids after school, we go out and we you know, now they're getting a little bit older, I'm dropping off to friends, houses and so on and so forth. But two or three years ago is we'd go to the golf course or go skiing, and we still do those things. But now their friends are more integrated into our daily routines, which is also a lot of
Cory Moore:So Rob, I know you're close to your mom. And fun. we've talked about her a couple of times. Are there things that you learned from your mom that that have helped you as a father things that you go oh man, my mom did these things and I'm doing those now.
Rob Corcoran:Absolutely. My mom, Cory knows my mom but 78 years old and she's currently in Turkey still working for the government. She there's no quit in the lady. It's, it's I was just texting her last night. Mom house Turkey. And oh my gosh, I learned lessons from my mom every day a matter of fact, my friend Job was when I was 11 years old, my mom, dad gave me a lawn mower and I've worked everyday sense. But to pinpoint your question I had, I want to say roughly 20 to 25. lawns, I'd have to mow a week at one point. And my mom was there every step of the way to help me if I wanted to go out and play basketball with my buddies for two or three hours, she takeover mowed lawns for me. I mean, I look back and think that's unbelievable. I mean, my mom just took over went and mowed someone else's random lawn so that I could go out and play. You know, there's accountability for me, I was there 90% of the time, but that 10% of the time, she didn't hesitate to jump in on a Saturday and go mow three lawns. And that sticks with me, I think about it all the time. So absolutely. Without a doubt, my mom's passion for, you know, commitment and hard work, I think is taken both my sister and I, to where we are today. And I'm hoping to, you know, obviously pass that on to my boys, I let them know that, you know, our lifestyle. And we're very blessed to do the things that we're able to they don't they don't just happen. They happen with a lot of work and a lot of dedication.
Kirk Chugg:Yeah, I've had a lot of conversations with dads over the years. And I've asked the question, what's the one thing that your dad taught you? And I don't know if it's, if it's a good sign or a good thing. But the most common question, most common answer to that question was my dad taught me hard work. Not that hard work is important, or that hard work leads to success. It was just hard work. And I have kind of come to translate that into, that wasn't around a whole lot. He was working a lot. And the lesson that I learned or the major lesson that I learned was that work is important, is really what I hear. And I know that you've been able to balance that, that work, play with your boys quite well, and have been blessed to be able to do some of those things. My question for you today, I guess would be how are you teaching your boys? Not just hard work, but the value of hard work? And what that will do for them and their futures? to follow in the footsteps of great guys like their dad?
Rob Corcoran:Yeah, I don't. I let them know it's not. It's easy in today's world, especially get caught up on money, right? Our kids are on social media, they see music, they seem as jazz musicians, they see athletes making hundreds of millions, if not billions of dollars. And it's it's it's enticing to a child. It's enticing us as adults, right. But we get to an age where you realize, well, that's not really important. It's nice if we have it or we don't. But that's not the meaning of life by any stretch. So I have that conversation I have let my kids know that I've seen some of the best grocery cart baggers that have the greatest personality, and are the most passionate people you'll ever meet in your life. And I you know, and you see the person when we walk up to the T shop, passionate about checking us in and telling the boys to have a great time playing golf. The reason I share that is because I'm trying to let them know it is not about money. It's about making sure that you enjoy what you do every single day, I literally have a job, it's not a job to me, I just get up and I do it no different than the two of you. You're very passionate about what you do. That is so much more important than money, money will follow if that's what your goals are. But if it's getting up every day, and absolutely loving what you do, that's not even a job that's you're fortunate you're blessed to collect a paycheck from it. But that is not what it's all about. It's truly about enjoying yourself, I can remember having a couple jobs, they weren't jobs when I was younger, man, I'd go sit in the bathroom sometimes and put my head down thinking what am I doing? How do I get out of this? This is horrible. And I don't want them to ever have that. And I told him, You should never have to worry about that. Now there are times in life where things are difficult. And you got to do whatever, whatever it takes to take care of your family or yourself at that given time. That's a different scenario. But when it comes to the opportunity to create a life for yourself, do whatever you want to do that makes you happy.
Cory Moore:Rob, you're legitimately one of the most high energy, optimistic, passionate people I know. Thank you. How do you do that? And how do you teach your boys to be that kind of person? I mean, you just attract people, because you're that person. How do you do it? And how do you how do you explain that to your boys? Or do you or do you just do it by example?
Rob Corcoran:Well, thank you, first of all, but I think it's just in your DNA. I see it. I see a lot of me I see it a lot of their mom and our boys as we all do, obviously. But I just it's so funny. You asked that I just had the conversation with my little guy two nights ago. He is so driven to want to win, but it comes off negatively at his age. Does that makes sense? And I try to let I pull them both aside. They both have basketball tryouts this week. I pulled them both aside and I said guys, it's not about you making the team. Your coach cares more about you You trying and giving 110% than they ever will you putting the ball in the basket? So I think I've always been driven. I don't know why it's just who I am. I can remember being a kid no different than them. I always wanted to win. I think you either have it or you don't. But I think you also can not have it when you're not passionate about something, and you can have it when you're passionate about something. Does that make sense? Not very well said. But I think it's just built inside of you. Unfortunately, for me, both my kids have that same drive. Maybe not to the extent that I do. I might be a little off center. But we'll see as they grow older, you know, they're gonna grow into their own little bodies a little bit more, but I don't know, I think it's just I think it's just natural to I am. I have the passion to have a lot of fun. And I have the passion to be successful. And that doesn't mean money. To me, my time with my kids is being successful period in their story, and we do a lot of it.
Kirk Chugg:Rob, talk to us about your dating life. Maybe straight into
Rob Corcoran:All right let's get there!
Kirk Chugg:Tell us what it's like how it's been an adjustment for you and for your boys. And I know she has kids too, right? Yes. So yeah. So you know, you've got some male mentorship, positive male mentorship opportunities there. Talk to us a little bit about how that's been an adjustment for your family and how you've managed that.
Rob Corcoran:Yeah. So I've been divorced, coming up in a few months and four years. And you know, it was Cory knows a lot of you know, like I say, dating stories, because that's what they are. They're like, Oh my gosh, you won't believe what happened last night. I went to dinner. And we didn't have a great conversation, right? I mean, those types of things happen on dates. And then there's other ones where they're absolutely magical. But no, I did it for four years. One thing that was important to me is not to introduce the kids to anyone until I was seriously dating. I had a lot of conversations with different people, moms and dads about that. I've been, like I say, almost divorced. For years, my kids have only met two people. One gal I dated for a little while, closer to when I was newly divorced, I guess not right away. And then now the gal that I've been dating for 16 months, actually today. And that's been a whole nother story in regards to much more serious and fun, and so on and so forth. So, back to the time with my kids. I've never gone on a date when I had my boys. It's just not it wasn't important to me. datings fun and what have you, but the kids are more important than that. They would ask questions, which I thought was interesting, but I wouldn't say much. A matter of fact, I can remember my little guy the machine. This one was TV this one jumping on my phone one day, I'm like, What are you doing? Like I'm swiping left to right I about died. I'm sweating right now telling you this because it was hilarious. He's like, no, no. It was absolutely hilarious. I'm like, get off my abs kid. But no, the the coolest part about it is when you do meet someone you want to be with. And that was awesome. Sara's the first one that I had met that I'm like this, you know, this could be something she's absolutely amazing. Like I say we dated for 16 months, but I can remember. Matter of fact, it was last October 4. Or the previous October 4, that we did the introduction. And I remember driving over there cuz she has four kids. I have two kids. So all of a sudden we're The Brady Bunch. And I'll never forget driving over there. My little guy crew is was very nervous. I mean, Mama's mom, right? He doesn't want some other lady. It's really important piece to this. We all hesitate why I'll tell you the story while we're driving over for a second because we both told each other if our kids don't connect, if we don't feel that connection, it's just you move on, because that's the right thing to do. No matter how much we enjoy each other. It's a hug and a kiss. And it's been a pleasure. We'll remain friends. But it's not going to happen. We both agreed that was the case. Anyway, we're driving over and I'm you know, being a dad and looking in the back like, oh man, how's this gonna go? And it was hilarious. My little guy crew walks in the door. He's all nervous. You know, there's four older kids there, right? One is their age. And I'll share that story here in a minute. So they're a little nervous. My other guy cannon, that was hilarious. He'd never met these people before. He walks in. He's like, Hey, I'm here. Where's the party? Like, he's been that way.
Cory Moore:Sounds like somebody I know
Kirk Chugg:Your kids sound just like you.
Rob Corcoran:We still laugh about it today. But it has been the most, you could not have two families and you always hope for this. But you never really think it's gonna happen when you're out there dating. But you could not have put together two families where the kids get along incredibly well. Matter of fact, Sara's youngest daughter serral and my two boys, they're all the same age legitimately the best friends on Earth. We've had wonderful experiences together during this COVID thing we've traveled in RVs we've rented raid Rangers. utvs we actually funny enough, Sarah and I were on a trip after they've only met for about two months. And I said I'd already booked London. My Kids are avid soccer players and wanted to go to professional to see a real Premier League Soccer. This is funny soccer game. So I knew I had airline points because I travel a lot for business. But I knew there was no way on earth two months before Christmas that I was going to be able to get tickets for the three of us to go. So I said that he's like, what if you have enough points? I'm like, Can I've only got a few 100,000 points. There's no way three of us are going to London. On my points. I said, here's my phone. Go ahead. Look it up. Holy cow. 10 minutes later, we booked trip trip to London. I'm not kidding. 60,000 points a person. I'm like attitude. Anyway, long story short, a week or two later, I asked Sarah, like, you want to go to London with us for Christmas. And we did. eight of us went to London, we had the most extreme, we still talk about it today. like it was yesterday. Everything went off without a hitch. We had the most extraordinary time spending eight of us in credit in London together that I don't even know if whoever top that experience was so wonderful. So the experience of dating when I finally found that, you know, that wonderful person to spend time with and with my kids. Could you can't even measure it. It's unbelievable. Absolutely. Unbelievable.
Kirk Chugg:So Rob, you've got like lots of positivity, you've got lots of positive experiences. You've shared some of those positive experiences with us today. Let's Get Real now. What's the one thing right now that is the biggest challenge for you as a father?
Rob Corcoran:The biggest challenge I'd say right now is just they go, they mature. They sometimes talk back to you. And for a while you're like wait a minute, do you just say that to me? like who are you a little punk, right. Of course, eyes are lighting up like I seen that before. So that's a challenge. I think the way that I react to it, I've learned over just the last year, I used to get frustrated, I used to get literally upset at them. And now I might get a little upset. But I'm also Okay, back off, you are the same person. remember some of the things that happened with you and your mom. So I've kind of backed off the gas pedal a little bit to maybe set 70% is the way I look at it my mind, give them a little chance to breathe. They're just growing you trust them. They're good kids. So that's one thing, but no different than any other parent. It's the fear of I was at I was golfing actually, just a month or so ago. My oldest son Canyon has a friend talk about fun. We play match play together Canyon and his buddy gets me and crew. I mean, I couldn't have any more fun of my life. It sounds crazy. But it's like full blown battles, man every week, and we're going at it together. But I was looking at the three of them on the green. And I'm thinking they're such, they're still innocent kids are 13 years old, 11 and 12 and 13. They're innocent. But gosh, you see drugs creep in, you see alcohol creepin. You see all those things? I'm thinking, Oh, I hope that doesn't happen. Any of these kids? You I think we as parents, Halloween the other night, see all these kids out. And we as parents can see that one was kind of like me, or that one is kind of like my buddy, man, I hope he doesn't go down the wrong path, like my friend chose to. So we have those conversations a lot. But those are the biggest fears no different than any other parent. But I think keeping that close relationship, I tell my kids all the time, you screw up, it's okay. Just come tell mom and dad about it. Both Shannon, my ex wife and I have that those conversations, we're both very open and honest, we understand mistakes happen. But keep that open line of communication is key. So that is that's just without a doubt, it's my biggest fear. There's 13 going to 1415. And we know where it goes from there. So I feel like for those next six, seven years, if we can keep them in a straight line, you know, they're going to be off and just fine. And I can't fathom either of them doing those things. Yeah, but but we all know people that have had kids that they couldn't fathom it either. So that's without a doubt the biggest fear really no different than any other parent,
Cory Moore:I've talked to my kids and you know, you worry about these big life decisions that are inevitably coming out. Right, they're gonna be offered drugs at some point, they're gonna be offered alcohol in a in a bad situation. It's possible that heaven forbid they get someone pregnant super early. Some of these big things that might happen. I always tell my kids that drugs is the one thing they must, must, must stay away from, you know, because I look back and I think I've had some friends that have gotten pregnant early in life, and they figure it out. And I've had friends that have had alcohol problems, and that can be just as bad as drugs. But drugs always messes people up inevitably. Right. Do you have those conversations? Or how do you have those conversations with your boys?
Rob Corcoran:We have those conversations. Almost on a weekly, we I am very open about it. We have those conversations all the time. I want them to know once again, they can come and talk to me about it. I tell them this I agree with you 100% Cory, I tell them all the time that they should be thankful at this point in their life. They don't have any of those addictions. Some people look at maybe the homeless on you know, on the st What have you there's I teach them that there's mental illness is a big, big deal in today's world, they understand that I never knew what mental illness was at 11 and 13 years old. I mean, it just came to become prominent a decade ago. It was there, but it's not something people talked about, right. But I tell them that don't look down on those people. Just be thankful you don't have that addiction. He thankful that that strain doesn't run through your through your system. Because it we all know, people that have had rough, rough lives, and they're great people, they just can't snap out of it. So back to your question. We chat about it all the time. We sometimes joke about it. But they also know it's very serious how dad feels about any of those things. Don't go down the path. There's no reason none of it leads to anything good. I mean, look at my for me, I'm a little bit different. I drink water now only for almost 11 years, never sip of anything else. And they think that they don't even think it's weird anymore. My little guy pretty much drinks water with his dad, which I think is absolutely awesome. Right?
Cory Moore:I think it's awesome. But it is weird. Yeah, it's weird. And it's amazing. I love 11 years legit. We're talking not even juice. Correct? Just water 11 years. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I
Rob Corcoran:Can't imagine drinking anything else. But I think that's a good sign that they see for me. I'm sure they go to their other parents friends and look at I don't think alcohol is bad. But I came from an alcoholic family. My father died on Father's Day morning of 1991. So I know what alcohol does to a family. And from that I was a normal teenager, I drank alcohol. But I'll never forget the day that I found my father passed away on Father's Day morning of 1991. I told myself I'd never drink again. And I and I haven't I would never even fathom putting alcohol my body because I saw the way they treated my mom, my sister how it ruined our family. No matter what anybody says there's absolutely and this is religion, none of this has anything to do with it. It's just pure. Truth. It never does anything for your body, there's no good and doing any of those things. So I think hopefully they see that from their dad, they can choose to do what they want when they're older. But I think in that particular regard, I think it's probably a very different thing for them to see. They know dad goes on business trips, they've gone with me, they've sat at a table where people drink alcohol, and they see it my dad doesn't care what anyone else drinks, he's gonna have his cold glass of water. So hopefully that reflects, you know, in a positive manner.
Kirk Chugg:Rob, how are you keeping a good relationship with your ex wife? I know that I like a lot of these guys. Can I ask that question?
Rob Corcoran:Oh, absolutely.
Kirk Chugg:I know a lot of these guys that are listening that are gonna be single dads are gonna be like, well, that's great that he's got a an ex wife that is cooperative, and co parents and tries to keep a stable environment for the kids. That's great. I don't have that. Right now. Like, talk to those guys.
Rob Corcoran:Oh, boy. All right, guys, listen up. Here we go. Just kidding. Hey, look, that isn't that that is a machine that ebbs and flows. So it is not always perfect. I'm very fortunate. They have an unbelievable mother. She's wonderful. She's amazing. We simply just didn't connect on, you know, a level of marriage and love and what have you. But that it ebbs and flows. My personal goal is that if we ever have any issues is to keep the children out of it. But they're also getting older. I mean, they're 11 1213 years old, right? So they understand things. So it ebbs and flows. There's good times, and there's rough times. The one thing that I've learned, which is so difficult for me is let the little things go, they just don't matter. And that's difficult for all of us. But I think I've actually done a pretty good job of it the last year so there'll be comments made where I used to want to blow up and then I'm like, whatever, it's water off my back. I think also finding the special someone for me makes it easier to do that as well. She has a boyfriend, which is great, great for the kids. Now they both see their mom and is happy and they see their dad is happy. So that's there's nothing but positivity that comes from that. But don't think for a second, it wasn't always that way. The first two years were really rough. There's a lot of raw emotions in divorce, no matter what happens, right? And ours was very amicable and actually very simple. But when the times are good, I'll tell you what, it's good. It's good for the kids. So you can have that relationship with your with your ex wife, or ex husband, depending who's listening here. It's so much better for the children, but to say it's easy. It's not It's not easy. There's nothing easy about it. I don't know if that's the answer you wanted. But that's the reality of the whole thing.
Cory Moore:We need the reality. So Rob, if you were to look back and and give yourself advice now, you were to say you're a new Dad, you have a new one year old boy Kenyon's one. What would you tell yourself? What would you say to yourself? Would you say, you know, do these things different or don't forget to do these things? What would you say to yourself
Rob Corcoran:That's a great question. Time, I spent less time with Canyon that first year, only because I was young, I was in business. We all know sitting at this table, which is a really hard, fine line. We're young, we're passionate, we want to do great things in our career. And those things take time. And you've got to feed your family. So now your first child, you've got your wife, you've got a newborn baby, you're nervous about that, and you're nervous about taking care of them. But time is everything. I think I caught on to that pretty quickly when I had crew our second one. So don't feel like I missed too much. But that first year, I can remember I didn't seem I was working my tail off as a young real estate agent, doing everything I could to save up and build a big dream that we all want through different times in our life. But time is everything. I mean, we I could have this conversation with you guys. And you could ask me one question and it's time, time, time time. That's why I enjoy every second with the kids. I mean, every second I watch them getting older. I say I see them going, you know, Halloween crew went to his friends that asleep over which is fun. But I'm like, I just lost. I told him I said, it's last 24 hours with you joking and having fun. He's like that it was just 24 hours. And I kind of laugh because I'm like to you it's just 24 hours, because they go really slow and you're 11 years old. But when you're 47. And you see your 13 year old, going to 14 driving, right, we talked about all the time, so pumped to get his permit another two years. But 24 hours to me as a single dad is absolutely, it's huge. And once again, we chuckle about it, but I'm serious about it. And he's like dad, let it go. You know, in a fun way, of course. But
Cory Moore:Are there quotes or things that you consistently tell your kids because you want to drill it in?
Rob Corcoran:Yeah, I actually only have one. And it I tell them all the time when something comes up. I say excuses don't make champions, it's totally true. It's life, it pretty much covers everything. Excuses, don't make champions, I'll tell them they'll complain about something, I'm like, you're gonna sit in the ground and cry because your brother knocked you down the basketball court, you're gonna get up and be a champion. Because a champion doesn't mean winning. champion means trying to me, giving 110% that's school, that's sports, that's your relationships, your friends is so much fun watching our children, build those friendships. And this isn't an isn't necessarily but the one thing that I have drilled into them. And it made me so excited just the other day. The first day of school, I always say boys, you grab on to that child that doesn't have any friends. I work in corporate relocation. So I work with hundreds of families a year that their kids get ripped out of their school system, and, you know, New York City and they get transplanted into Phoenix, Arizona, or wherever we are relocating them to. That was stressful on a kid. My kids don't have to go through that. Fortunately, some days, I wish they would actually I think there's a lot of value in that. But I teach them go find the child that doesn't have a friend those are those are the ones that need it the most. And it was awesome crew came home the other day. And I said to him, said boys, have you met any friends lately? that need a little bit of help that don't have maybe as many friends as you do? It's like oh my gosh, Dad, you wouldn't you wouldn't believe this. But one of the kids just moved from so and so. And I saw him sitting in the corner about two weeks ago. And we with them every day. Now we have lunch with them every day. And like that was that was like one of those that's one of those parent moments where like, Oh my gosh, my kids get it the most important little things. They absolutely get it so and my other one chimed in and said, Oh my gosh, that I look forward every day. If there's someone that, you know, is by themselves or having a rough day, I try to go over and be a friend to them like yes, like if I did anything as a parent, right? That at the end of the day is the most important piece.
Cory Moore:Your kids are well mannered in my mind, because I've spent some time with them. Sure. I remember Rob helped me buy a house many years ago. And both cannon and crew came up and said shook my hand looked me in the eye and said congratulations on your new home. And I thought to myself, are you kidding me? And you gotta remember these kids were way younger. They were like, six, maybe in an age or something like that. And so, manners is something that I see that you've taught your kids is, how do you teach them that? Or is that? You know, how do you go about that?
Rob Corcoran:Telling them hundreds of 1000s of times? No, I'm glad you brought that up. That is something that's just important to me. I've taught them plays and thank you. It's sad because I feel like a lot of parents have lost that. I mean, a lot of parents have lost that. I've taught them please and thank you and their mom has as well since literally the day that they are born and now I'll say Hey, I'll chuck them in or like that, you know, we're gonna say it and they say it now because they mean it not because I told them, but once this is back to your ism thing, one Those things that I teach, and I totally forgot to. I wasn't thinking about this, but I've told them that please. And thank you will get them further than in life than any college degree, anything that they do in life, please. And thank you is respect to someone else. It will get you so much further than life than anything else that you do. Period.
Kirk Chugg:I had a proud dad moment this last weekend in relation to that, like the please. And the Thank you. And then I've added to that. No, sir. And yes, sir. Oh, yes, absolutely. No, man love it. I have some family that lives down south. And I go down there and I visit and I'm like, Man, these kids down here are respectful. They, they treat like they don't care who you are, if you're older than they are, they say yes or no, sir. And I loved that. So my wife and I did that. And we were, we're working on a project this last weekend. And we had some like radio communications. And my boys actually had one of the radios and they were asked to go do something that was very important. And the transmission that came back over the radio was, yes, sir. Awesome. And I had one of the other dads that was with me, turned around, and he looked at me and he goes, That's awesome. And I didn't really think you know, two thoughts about it. But I loved that. I loved that my boys did it without being asked in to that it was. It's so rare now that kids say those simple things like please, thank you. Look, people in the eye, shake their hand, give them a good handshake. introduce themselves. Absolutely. And that's one of the things that I've loved about the gentleman project is my boys are pretty good at that. At this point, they're the same age. They're 13. And I love to see them like step up square their shoulders. After somebody looks at me, I shake their hand. Say Hi, nice to meet you. My name is john. What's your name? And to see that like whole thing come together? For me is like a major dad payday.
Rob Corcoran:It's exactly what it is the payday. Yeah. And it makes you feel good, but they feel good. You can you can see when they square the shoulders up, or when they say please, or Thank you not to go back to Golf. Because I know everyone doesn't play golf. But it's an amazing game. I when I was little, were a member of a club. And my kids were hanging out with 60 year old people shoot, I was only 32 or 33 at the time. But every they were blown away, because my kids would go up and shake their hands. They were 567 years old. And these adults were like, Oh, my gosh, a child just came up and shook my hand said good morning. Those are exact paydays. And it's great for the moment. But those things carry them throughout all of life. They're gonna know a difference when they're interviewing for a job. And they walk in and they shake the hand of one of our children, versus maybe someone else that, you know, unfortunately, didn't have that. And it's not all bad, because there's a lot of dads out there that aren't there to support their children, which is unfortunate. But for those that are, it's a huge blessing in our life. There's no doubt about it.
Cory Moore:I was thinking, as we were talking that this is a podcast that I will definitely have my kids listen to. And for those that are listeners, it's not a bad idea. I did that I drove down to St. George, last week with my two oldest and I had them listen to one of the podcasts. There's something magical about someone else. teaching your kids Sure. Because it's not their dad. Right? It's not their mom. Right? And so I encourage the listeners actually to to listen to the podcasts and then decide is this one I should listen to with my kids because someone else gets to teach them? And I think on the manor side, that's that's important. Rob, is there someone in your life that has influenced your kids that besides you and your wife are there are people who you who you think oh, man, I wish that you know, I had more influence from an outside person?
Rob Corcoran:That's absolutely, I think there's actually quite a few Cory, you're actually one of them. My kids love coming down. Every time we come down to downtown Salt Lake, they're like, they had this a big D building. That's where Cory works. I mean, they bring it up all the time. That means something to them. I think this beautiful building that we're in, says success all over it. My kids have recognized that they'll see a big D sign driving down the freeway, they're like dad, that's record works. Like that's no joke that happens all the time, which is really cool. So that says a lot about their connection with you. You know them fairly well, but we don't hang out every weekend. We have our own family. So I think that says a lot. Some other people would be a good friend of mine, Steve McGee. He knows the boys like you growing up but doesn't see them all the time. But he's given them some experiences, whether it be fishing and different things like that, that their dad's not good at. For someone like that to take time to take my boys fishing on there and four and five, they'll never forget that experience. We drive by the same pond going down Jordan now. I was seven eight years ago. Dad Do you remember the day we went fishing with Steve. So I'm very forward And blessed to have people like you that are my great friends in my lives that are absolutely amazing examples to my children, because they see them treating their kids or others that were worth at that given time the same way that I try to treat treat them.
Cory Moore:Rob, I know you're involved in some charity work, especially something that we call the North Pole Express.
Rob Corcoran:Yeah,baby.
Cory Moore:I've been a little bit involved in with you. Talk to us about that. And, and I'm sure that has to have an influence on your children.
Rob Corcoran:Absolutely. So the North Pole Express is our seventh year. Going into it. Long story short, I went, there's a thing called the Heber Creeper to train up in up in Heber, City, Utah. And if you've never done it, take your children up there. Even if it's not during the holidays during the summer, it's an awesome experience to go on an old steam and engine train. Anyway, I was on it with my kids and thinking they do a thing called the Polar Express. They basically recreate the movie with hot chocolate and cookies, and so on and so forth. And I was thinking to myself, and my kids were probably four, well, let's say it was seven years ago. So they were or four years old, three, four years old. And I remember looking at my, my, my wife at the time and saying, Man, I want to we need to get this experience other children. Because this is unbelievable. However, it's not inexpensive. I want to say it's 2030 year, you're $120 for a family of four that's not inexpensive, and a lot of families, you know, might not be able to afford that. So anyway, I looked at her and I said, I'm gonna rent this train for children that are less fortunate than us. And she kind of looked and chuckled Well, I'm never coming back the next year. And I'm like, guess what she's like, what I said, I rented the entire train. So like, What do you mean, what are you talking? I said, Remember the Polar Express, I rented the train? Like, what are you going to do with it. So we're going to put people that are less fortunate than our children are, and we're going to give an experience of a lifetime. So anyway, what we do is we take children now it's evolved and changed a little bit. But the bottom line is we take a school in Salt Lake County, and have children that are for the most part a little bit less fortunate than ours. And we give them any gift that they want. And we take them on the Polar Express that we take buses. Cory big deconstructions been a huge advocate since the day we did it. They donate every single year and support us, along with other business owners in the community. But it's been the greatest experience for me and my boys that you could ever have. They look forward to it every year. Now things have evolved. We did it for four years on the train that train holds 398 people, we started getting schools that are bigger last year was 565 kids, so we can't take the train anymore. So we said well, what do we do? How do we create this a magical experience. And what we decided to do is watch the Polar Express movie. And what we found is I was kind of a little bit sad because the whole experience of taking 400 kids up to Ybor on a bus and giving them food along the way. And then they don't even know that they're getting their toys on the on the backside of this, they have no clue that there's literally 50 elves in a school decorating the gymnasium, to give them the gift that they had requested back in September that they totally forgot about. But what I realized we found that 70% of these kids have never gone to a movie theater before. So to them going to the movies is unbelievable, which it is still for all of us. So now we did the same exact thing except it's safer. The school system is a little concerned, we get lucky. We didn't end up with seven or eight buses stuck on parlays Canyon, right? And a horrible snowstorm. But so now we do the movie theater. And it's been just as wonderful experience. And we watched the movie, The Polar Express. We rent the rights for a day to the movie. And yeah, we help with 565 Kids last year to the movies. And that's all it is wonderful. I love it. It's December 17 is roughly when we do it my favorite day of the year. But my kids, the beauty of it is my kids there. They've been involved every single year. We do a wrapping party the week before they wrap the gifts. They're there on that day they take off school, or they're helping out handing out popcorn, whatever it is. So hopefully, they are getting something from that they see. And I see little things that they do. My son we're in San Diego a couple years ago and he's like, Dad, I need 10 bucks. I'm like, What do you need 10 bucks for? He's like I saw someone in the street. I think they need help. It was awesome. So he took 10 bucks. He went back by himself is probably 50 yards away. And he handed the sweet lady $10. It was awesome. So I think they see little things. But the biggest thing that ever came from that. My oldest was only he was five years old. I will never forget the first time we've done the Polar Express nurses could be never put on anything like this. And my team is extraordinary putting on these events. I have the idea but it's nothing without the people that support us. There's so many people in this community that helped make all the magic happen. But we are going to school and he looked at me I'll never forget this and he said, Dad, I'm like what he's like last night. Last night made my heart happy. And right there, I knew that he understands what trying to do good is right. Anyway, that's probably the best dad moment of my life. A matter of fact, I don't think there'll be anything to top that because that little piece is what's helping them grow into who they are today.
Kirk Chugg:So Rob, you've had some challenges lately. You were talking to us in the studio about one of your sons. Tell us what's going on in your house right now.
Rob Corcoran:Oh, man, it actually happened last night. My boys both have basketball tryouts this week and my oldest son Canyon, have his last night and I bought him some basketball shoes. And you know, as we as kids all exciting stuff, right? His mom came over picked up the shoes took him to practice because she hasn't right now. And I said, Hey, good luck. I said, Remember, just give it your all and nothing else matters. Go 100% coaches don't care if you make baskets. They want to see kids that hustle. It's like all right. He's totally excited. amped up. I'm pumped. I'm getting pumped right now for my kids. This is fun. It's an awesome time in life. I said call me the second practices over are the tryouts are over. I want to know how you did. Oh my gosh, he called me in tears. About 915 last night. I'm like What's wrong? But he's like, Dad, I played horrible. Like, no, I'm sure you didn't play horrible. They wouldn't let parents come because of COVID. I wanted to go over and watch them but they're doing the right thing and not allowing us to go watch. I said, buddy, how hard could it be? I said, Did you try to hustle? He's like, yeah, Dad, I gave him my arm. Like, that's all it matters. Like But Dad, I played horrible. Like, what do you mean, you played horrible. He couldn't even get it out. The kid was bawling. Like, that's the hard part about being a single dad as well as I wasn't right there to hug him. I know his mom was. And that's awesome. But that's separate of what I'm telling you. Now. That's that's the hardest part about being a single dad right there. I just want to go give him a big hug. Anyway, that was difficult pill to swallow. You tried to pump him up. But we've all been there. It hurts. It's friends. It's you know, all of his friends in school, he might may very well might make the team but if he doesn't, that's a hard pill to swallow as a child. So this morning driving to the podcast, I call them at 715 in the morning, and I said, Hey, how you doing this morning? Normally, he's he's like me, he's got energy, we laugh, we pump each other up. And it wasn't there. He's still as sad as he was when he went to sleep. And that just breaks your heart. And I told him that, hey, you don't know that you're not on the team. If you don't, it's not the end of the world. If you want to try out for another team that'll drive you to Salt Lake and I'm sure mom would ever we live in Park City will drive down the canyon every day. If you make another team. Don't stress about it. I said worst case, look, we don't all make every team that we try out for that's just the reality of life. I said worst case, what are we going to do? I said, we're going to try a few. This is what you want. We're going to practice for the next year. And you're going to give them the theme next year without a doubt. But you got to work at it. But anyway, my point of the story is parenting and this podcast and me talking is all the good things. But the reality is life is also difficult. And we as parents need to be there for our kids. Because my hurt heart still hurts. I'm like, shoot, call me tonight. I got to know one way or the other. I'm like, oh, man, I hope he makes the team. But on the flip side, it's not a bad thing to not make the team. We adults know that. That's humbling experience. When you think you're great at something, and there's always someone out there that's better than you. That's just a fact of life. So anyway, I just wanted to share that piece because I think it's important.
Cory Moore:I appreciate you sharing that, Rob, I think we all especially those that are around our age, I grew up with Michael Jordan. Sure we know the story about how he didn't make his senior rescue his high school basketball team, right. And that drove him to become the best High School player and then eventually one of the best players. And he always Actually, I don't know if you guys watched the last dance show, but he always had to have something drive them. That was he almost invented things that seemed like to help him in to help drive him. So yes, as parents, we know that those things can be good. But man are I'm on the edge of my seat. Oh boy does anything just like your Yeah, every tennis shot every golf. You just want the you want what's best for them. And sometimes the best is losing or not making the team. But man, it's hard as a parent to see that. Yeah, I appreciate you sharing that with us.
Rob Corcoran:Oh, no problem.
Kirk Chugg:What awesome advice you given us today, Rob. Thank you for bringing your energy to the studio and giving us some unique perspectives, from your point of view on how to be better dads.
Rob Corcoran:Well, thanks. I look forward to learning from others.
Kirk Chugg:Well, we hope that we hope that people enjoy the podcast that they listen to it, that they're uplifted by it, that they're motivated to be better dads. I think you've helped us with that today. Thanks again. We wish you the best with your sprained ankle and your golf trip next week. All right. I love that podcast Cory. I loved how Rob talked about integrating his kids into his busy life and travel. There's some awesome stuff They're great stuff. Rob. Thank you very much.
Cory Moore:Rob. So high energy. If you enjoyed this podcast LIKE and SUBSCRIBE where you get your podcasts. This is Cory Moore.
Kirk Chugg:And I'm Kirk Chugg. Thanks for joining us for the gentlemen project podcast.
