The Gentlemen Project Podcast
Podcast highlighting impactful stories of parents and what they do to be successful at home and at work. Helping you turn the time you have with your kids into time well spent helping them learn the most important lessons in life. The Gentlemen Project Podcast is hosted by Kirk Chugg and Cory Moore-friends who are passionate about fatherhood and raising the next generation of great kids.
The Gentlemen Project Podcast
"Wherever You're at, Be There" with Costa Vida CEO Dave Rutter
As CEO of Costa Vida, Dave Rutter was pulled in many different directions while building a successful company. The direction he always felt most drawn to was home and the family waiting for him there. However, the struggle of putting family first was a challenge for him like it is for most of us. Dave shares advice on how he has connected with his family, adjusted to life's changes and become more present. Advice we all need to hear as life pulls us in different directions.
Dave and his wife are the parents of 6 children with a 23 year span from youngest to oldest. They've learned a few things in the mean time. Hope you'll join us!
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Welcome to the Gentlemen Project Podcast. I'm Kirk Chugg.
Cory Moore:And I'm Cory Moore. Today we have Dave Rutter on the podcast, who, you know, as we were talking before we came in here we've known each other actually quite a long time. We need to spend more time together. But I think we met the first time about 20 years ago and Dave, the CEO of Costa Vida, amongst many other entrepreneurial things that I know he's involved in. So Dave, thanks for being on the podcast with us.
Dave Rutter:Thank you for having me. And I think in the time we've known each other, you've stayed about the same age, but I think I've gotten a lot older, so I need to drink whatever water you're drinking, do something.
Cory Moore:I think you just have a bad memory. Trust me, my wife is like you're getting old. There's a lot of gray in there.
Kirk Chugg:There's a little bit more gray in the beard than the last time I saw even!
Cory Moore:Dave, tell us a little bit about your background, like, you know, tell us your story. Where are you from? Where'd you grow up, you know, maybe a little bit about how you grew up that kind of thing.
Dave Rutter:Okay. I was actually born in LA, but we my family moved to Utah when I was really young. And so all of my my schooling was in Utah County. And it kind of grew up in a in a very family values. At you know, with with my family has taught those values from a young age from my parents. And I'm the third of five children. I think for me, I always grew up I was the one of these weird kids that always had some kind of business going on. As I was growing up. I was talking to somebody about this the other night I was I sold stuff door to door I sold Fuller Brush, if you can believe that. I had my big packet of stuff that was as big as me going door to door. I would make a candy store and sell you know, buy candy in bulk and then sell it to the other kids at school. Even these little metal tabs that I'm sure our teachers absolutely hated. But we used to nail them to the bottom of our shoes, and then you can slide down the halls.
Cory Moore:Oh yeah!
Dave Rutter:I sold those at school. And it was it was a heck on the on the floors in the waxing I'm sure but so I always had stuff like that going on. I always had that edge toward business, served a mission for my church. When I came back, I took a job at a local restaurant, and on Prestwich Farms down in Orem, and really kind of fell in love with the energy of that business, I waited tables and actually met my wife there. And, you know, we eventually got married, but the food business kind of got into my soul a little bit. And so we were developing other other businesses, we actually sold that restaurant at one point and, and had kind of, we had a networking business that we were doing so we had kind of retired a little bit from conventional business, I was about 33 or 34 years old, and I had these amazing visions of my wife and I go into lunch together every day and all these things and after about a week, she came into my office and she said, I'm gonna have to cut you loose if you don't find something else. Because you have like thoroughly invaded my schedule and I actually do have a life and and so we got some other things going. And one of those things was I had a friend of mine call me that was a bowler and he he said, Hey, the place that I bowl is is being sold to Gold's Gym. They made me an offer to buy the bowling equipment. Do you think I should do it? I said, Well, I don't have any idea. I don't know anything about bowling, you know, and I said but I have a friend who does and so I called a friend of mine, my business partner today Sean Collins and and so we got talking about this and it went from maybe we just buy this equipment, sell it overseas to let's open a Bowling Center in Salt Lake City, you know, and so we did and that was in August of 2001. We were open about three weeks when September 11 of that year you know happened and so we obviously didn't know what was gonna happen with that we just invested everything we owned in this thing and thought what's going on with our world but but we opened that first one we opened a second one down in Provo and kind of thinking you know, we'll just invest in these and have somebody run them for us and that lasted a few months and then we realized we lose everything we own if we don't get in and figure these out. And so we we kind of started to move along with that brand and opened three or four properties here in in Utah, and then one in Colorado. At the same time. My brother in law was actually working with us, in fact at Salt Lake City and and he came to us with this idea he said I want to start this Mexican Grill. I'm going to call it Costa Azul. I just really think it could be a great thing. Would you guys financially back me to do it? And we said no You know, we're too busy doing what we're doing and our our money is here and, and but but go to town and so he partnered up with another gentleman by the name of JD Gardner. So JD Gerdner and Kenny Prestwich got together and they they formed this and open the first Kosta zuul, at the time in Layton, Utah, and we sat back and watched is this thing just went absolutely nuts, you know, over the next several months, and we, we drove up there. I'll never forget, I mean, one day, we drove up there and it was lunchtime, and there was a line out the door and we looked at each other and said, this could have been our concept and we really blew this, you know, and so we sat down with him in between lunch and dinner rush and said, okay, you're going to become a first sprint, you're going to become a franchisor. And we're going to become your first franchisees. And, and so we did that. And so we took our, our Fat Cats in Provo, the restaurant that it had in it had competition right up the street. It wasn't really working in there. And so we closed Saturday night as that brand and open Monday morning as a Costa Azuls, we had a 36 hour No kidding, you did not know that 36 hours you change it over. So when our guys now say, Hey, we need a month to do a remodel. It's like, Yeah, we did that over a weekend. But But anyway, same experience. I mean, so we have this little fat cats down there in Provo, it's our smallest one. But now this this Costa Azul that we open in there, just insane growth, I mean, same thing, and it's it's such a clunky, you know, experience that you kind of have to walk through the Bowling Center to get into the restaurant, it's just this weird thing, but it turns into the fastest growing one in the chain at that point. Of course, it was only number two, but then, you know, over the next couple of years, I mean, it did really well, so much so that it made us view it from the standpoint of Hey, we're just trying to rescue a Fat Cats property here with a better food service for that environment too. Now we're gonna kind of do a parallel path here, and we'll pursue Costa and we'll pursue fat cats as well. And so that's what we started to do. And as we did that the Fat Cats business, you know, really started to grow for us. And we hit a point where it didn't make a lot of sense to continue on the same way that it was, I think we had, we had about 13 restaurants out of the 22 or something that the company owned at that point, we went to Kenny and JD and said, hey, let's buy you because they weren't operating restaurants at the time we were and so all potential franchisees were coming through us anyway. And and so we bought them out in in actually I say we bought them out, they actually still own some Kenny Prestwich, who's my brother in law he he still works with us today and JD serves on our board and and they're just great. You know, as as the founders, I mean they they they're just fantastic. And so but we took over the company in 2008 2009. And and it's been a great ride ever since. So today we have about 9394 restaurants. We're in 14 states we've we've transitioned a little bit we don't franchise as much anymore are, we're really building company stores. And fat cats really at the same time has kind of taken a different approach from our first properties that we opened, where it was really just bowling and food and arcade and billiards and those kinds of things to where now the movie theater business is a big part of what we do. And so we have, we have five properties now that that are movie theaters. And that business is it's on a tear all of its own. I mean, it's it's doing really, really well. And, and we're just having fun. So so my partner and I are CEOs of Costa Vida. We have another CEO over at fat cats for us. His name's Paul Brockbank. He's doing a fantastic job and, and life is good.
Kirk Chugg:That's cool. So give us a little bit of background on your family. Do you have kids?
Dave Rutter:I know I have six my oldest, if you can believe it is 40. She turned 40 this year?
Cory Moore:I can't believe it. Yeah.
Dave Rutter:Before she's gonna hit me with a baseball bat per se. So she's 40 and our youngest is a junior in high school. So we go from 40 down to 17. Wow. And we have four of four of our six children are married. And we have 14 grandkids. Oh wow, in Utah County all around us. So it's it's amazing.
Kirk Chugg:So as you're going through this building of coast avita and fat cats, and the movie business now, you obviously were probably pulled 100 different directions. And one of those directions was probably towards home. So talk to us about how you manage that. And what were some of the best practices that you used as a busy CEO that's trying to build a company to the size that it is today and still being involved dad at home?
Dave Rutter:That's a great question. And it's the fight the balance fight that we all fight, right. And, and so I think my, my time is a little bit more flexible now actually than it was during those early years. You know, during those early years, I was known as a young father, I mean, 20 years ago, 21 years ago, and I was doing other stuff before that. But I think, you know, as I think back on my early years of being a father, I probably allowed my family to take second place a little bit there some, you know, and I had a, I was just taught a profound principle from a gentleman one day who I was talking to, and he said, Dave, wherever you're at, be there, and it, and it, it's such a simple concept, but it, it makes so much sense, because a lot of times for me when I was home, doing my thing, but I was always my mind was always back at work, you know, I mean, what are those things that I miss, and what have I got to do to prepare for tomorrow, or for this meeting, or that or whatever. And so I'm just distracted, I see this vision of this guy out there, you know, pushing his child on a swing, but yet, all the while he's in the middle of something else, whether he's on a phone, or whatever, and maybe it wasn't with a phone when my kids were young, but I felt like I was kind of distracted that way. But when this person said this to me, and you, you know, I just began to view it in a different way. And so, though my time at home was limited, I think what I really tried to do is, is to, before I walked in the house, I parked my car, in the garage, or in the driveway and, and detox for a minute, and then I'd walk in the house and try to be there, one for my wife, who'd been around some super, you know, rambunctious kids all day. And, and really had grown up in an environment where she was working, too. And so now she's home, that's a tougher transition, you know, for her at that time, because she grew up in a family of very entrepreneurial family. And so to go in, and really, one try to give her a break, but also try to communicate, because I think a lot of times as dads, our level of communication is, you know, dear, how was your day? And if she's asking me that question, I'm saying, great, it was good, and I don't talk anything more about him, and she wants to talk, you know, and so and so trying to trying to connect in a different way with my wife and my children, I think, is probably the most important thing. It's, it's, it's exciting now, because three of our four married kids actually work with us. So I see them, you know, on a regular basis, that has its challenges to that professional, you know, side of it, versus the family and dad and child side. And so, but at least from from that side, we do see each other, I still have two kids at home. But I think it's just the priority, because ultimately, as exciting as as, as our business life has been, and we've certainly been blessed. It's not, you know, as I sit around on my, my 85th birthday, and think, what do I want my family to say about me, or what's going to be on my, you know, my, my gravestone, it's not, I had all these restaurants, and he had all this stuff, it's like, none of that stuff you take with you, you know, it's the people that you impact. And, and we've been blessed to be able to do that. And so I think with our family and with the team members that we work with, is, is viewing people, the way they should be viewed as as, as, as, as individuals of incredible worth. And not sometimes I think in business, how we do that. It's kind of a means to an end, you know, I mean, they help us get to a place. And people with that philosophy. In the tight labor markets that we deal with are really suffering,
Kirk Chugg:Because I think people can feel that whether it's at home with your kids or your wife, as you walk in, they know what your what you're thinking, what's going on in your head. And I think the same thing goes with employees, if they just see themselves as a means to an end to make a profit for you, then they're not going to be dedicated employees to you, they're not going to have any loyalty when the next job offer comes up. Props to you for you know, taking that philosophy, I noticed that even in your bio is written that, that you try to treat the people that your team members as part of the business family. So I think whether it's in business or at home, they can tell Yeah, they can tell for sure.
Dave Rutter:Yeah, there's no question i and that's the joy but to be honest with you, I you know, we, we all do a lot of things and we're very busy. But at the end of the day, it's those relationships, those are the things that that really matter. And when you see, you know, individuals that come from tough, tough situations, I mean, I think of some of our team members and our managing partners today but times where they were sleeping on couches and rummaging through garbage cans for food and now buying and owning their own home and paying off cars and those kinds of things. It's it's back kind of stuff that makes everything that we do worth it. And, and, and ultimately, you know, you're, you know, your first point of impact is whether, in my case, my wife, my spouse, and my family, and then it, I think it bleeds out there and the family actually can get pretty large.
Kirk Chugg:That's neat.
Cory Moore:So tell me where this entrepreneurial spirit came from. Was that something that your parents were entrepreneurial? And you got it that way? Did they teach you anything? And and do you? Have you taught any of that to your kids? I mean, it being an entrepreneur isn't right or wrong, it's just something that you do or don't do. Right? And it's, so talk to me about that.
Dave Rutter:Yeah, that's a great question. No, I didn't grow up in an entrepreneurial family. My dad worked a job. He, he actually after I left, the home owned, owned a business. And that was the first time first time he had owned a bit Well, that's not true. He had a couple of businesses that he owned, but I wouldn't turn my dad as entrepreneurial. I think what I gained from my parents, one is just the absolute values based more morality based type of work ethic and, and hard work and, and respectful and integrity and those kinds of things that I've always tried to, to model. You know, we tried to do our best there. And but I think where I probably it was, it was just something that I think I had and then I married a girl, Kim Prestwich, who's whose dad was absolutely an entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, entrepreneur, I mean, he, he was an early KFC franchisee he had all kinds of different businesses. And so I think that kind of fueled that more for me, I was doing, you know, the little stuff I was doing as a kid, but, but when I met him, and and went to work for the family business, and then my wife, and I actually bought that restaurant away from the rest of the family as they moved out of the area. And then we just kind of continued on from there. And I think then my kids, it's interesting with my children, I have a couple of them that are pretty entrepreneurial. Three of the four of them work for us, but also have other things going on. So yeah, we, my aim is my son that I have a home, I have a 19 year old at home that just graduated from high school, that, you know, is actually pretty entrepreneurial, as well. And so I think that when there's a good opportunity for children to go into where they feel like, while I'm doing something for the family to help grow a family business or something, they may see that as a vehicle, rather than I need to go through the pain of starting my own thing, because because truthfully, with my younger children, with my last two, we adopted our last two, and there's a 10 year gap in there, but my older kids, you know, it was pretty thin for us in those early years, you know, we're investing in pretty much everything that we were doing, and we weren't pulling a lot out of the companies. And so they they saw both sides of that, you know, and so I think they each have their own path there, but couldn't be prouder of my children. I mean, they're phenomenal. Even the one that doesn't work for us, we'll get him sooner or later.
Cory Moore:But for you, you mentioned hard work and you mentioned integrity. And you mentioned you know, a moral compass kind of thing. And I think we all as parents, you know, I'm like, am I doing a good job? Are they going to leave? You know, my nest? And are they going to have those same kinds of things I really want to make sure they do and I think when they're when they're younger, it's hard to tell Am I am I giving them that? Did they have that So talk to me about you know, how do you feel like that was instilled in you? Like what was the actual like, how did your parents instill that in you or try to and how are you how have you tried to do that with your kids or grandkids you know, how do you instill hard work and integrity and try to make make it stick right like I'm trying to do that but I often ask myself am I doing a good enough job? Are they really getting what i'm talking to them about? So maybe if you have some comment on that.
Dave Rutter:I'm sure they are Cory I mean just knowing you as much as I do, but I think I think for me my dad wasn't one who was always in my face teaching it you know, but he modeled it, he loved it. I he never gave me an excuse. I mean I think the thing that is anything that that I have that's the truth of it never gave me excuse I I mean I grew up in this my wife calls it the is perfect little bubble I never heard my parents say a curse word growing up you know so I only heard one fight and it wasn't even really a fight and I went to school the next day and told all my friends My parents were getting a divorce because they heard and nothing could have been further from the truth but they just modeled this lifestyle of faith and and family and hard work and and his value never heard my dad say negative word about my mom or or vice versa. I mean it was just this you know this this idealistic you know, kind of an environment and we live in such a different world today because we have so much other input coming at us. All the Time I knew back then we had three TV channels and that was basically it but but with with my family he just I mean to this day the best man that I know is my dad you know and never made a lot of money but but just absolutely lived true to who he was who he is my dad's 90 outcome and upon 92 now but but I and so I think for me you know that's just what I've tried to model with my kids I asked myself the same questions that you asked Cory you know what now I I have four four kids that are married and two still at home but you know what, I really teach him that because there's so much confusion in the world today there's so much divisiveness there's so much you know, you know there's an opinion on on everything and it's like where do you find truth? Where do you get you know, where do you look to for those sources and so one thing that we have tried to regularly do as a family when earlier on it was one week I mean now we try to go to but a couple of weeks a year at Lake Powell I mean just a time where phones are off and and and and it's just us and and maybe a couple of other families but we have that time together that we create. We have a cabin up in Daniel summit, we try to do that same thing that we try to find those weekends or whatever that we can get away and, and just kind of reconnect on on those things. strived to do as an example from my parents was just to be that kind of example. For my kids, as I mentioned three of them work for me so they see us on the hard days and the good days and and you know, it'd be hard for me to, to preach values that we have up on our wall and then but in meetings or in tough situations, or at least negotiations or something that we're trying to figure out that's hard to see an entirely different you know, kind of behavior modeled and so it has really driven me I keep you know, on my wall at work actually a picture of my grandpa he owned a tiny little grocery store up in Malad Idaho, called he millstream grocery never ade a lot of money. But he he new what his calling was. And is calling was to tell work ith the townspeople, you know, hey said in this little town at 700 people, he'd have an office nd he'd have people lined up at he door, you know, to wait in o wait to come and visit with im. It used to frustrate his ids because they needed his elp check people out. But he's lways helping other people. hat's a great, but it's just th t kind of thing has resonated wi h me. And so I'm probably not a great example of it in a lot f ways. But I do strive to co tinue to model the things that was taught. And thankfully, have a partner who, who, wh's kind of cut from the same clo h that way and so we you know, we check each other if we feel l ke we're getting off, but it' a balance in life is an intere ting thing, you always try t walk that line of, you know, th perfect scenario, I don't know that you ever get to that plac. But you you just try to captu e the moment you can capture hat day and be present wher you are and, and, and give the best that you can, you know, wi h the situations in front of you I mean, if COVID has taught u anything, it's not us that, you know, we all had to adapt, and h ve had to continue to adapt dur ng that time.
Kirk Chugg:If you think back, sounds like your dad was an amazing man, and kind of just lived that quiet life of integrity. And luckily, that transferred to you because you're trying to teach it as well, which means you've internalized to some point, if you and you can take a minute if you need to think of this, but can you share with us something, an experience that you had with your dad? Could be big or little that you think that was the best moment of teaching that my dad had with me?
Dave Rutter:Yeah, I mean, I actually don't need to think about that one. My dad, I, as I mentioned before, I think my dad had two experiences where he owned his own business, he was a partner in one of them. And then the sole owner another one. The first one was a glass company. And he partnered up with a guy that lived right around the corner from us and, and in time that it wasn't working, you know, and so my dad left to go find something else. And he, an in time the business became insolvent. Several months later, maybe it was a year later so and my dad went back in and paid off the debt of that company. And I don't know that my dad told me then, but that's an experience with my dad that I either heard about from him or his partner or my mom or somebody. But that to me, I just thought that that's You know, that's that's how that's the kind of person I want to be. So as a young child growing up and knowing that my dad experienced that and put, you know, for a family that didn't have a lot of money, it wasn't like we were in good shape. And he just wrote checks. I mean, this is stuff that he paid out over time. I don't know how many years but paid out over time. And for me, that just had a profound impact.
Cory Moore:Yeah, that's beyond what most people just say, you know, a lot of people just say, Why I exited the business. I'm out of the business. And I'm sorry, it didn't work. Yeah, most people would do that. Yeah, that's a higher level of integrity, for lack of a better word. Right. There's that's cool. That's a good story.
Dave Rutter:I like that. That's my dad. Yeah, that's the kind of person he has always been,
Kirk Chugg:And something I'm sure you've shared with your own kids.
Dave Rutter:Oh, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think at the end of the day, you know, not to get too preachy here. But this is integrity at the end of the day is really, it's something that is sold so cheaply. You know, for people I remember seeing a movie years ago called the Family Man with Nicolas Cage and, and there's this kind of angel guy that comes in. But to make a long story short, Nicolas Cage is in there, and the angel is checking somebody out, and this girl hands him a $10 bill, to buy whatever she was buying. And he gave her change for 20. And, and so she looked at it for a minute, and then she turned around and walked out. And his angel says to Nicolas Cage, that's so disappointing. She'd sell her integrity for 10 bucks. You know, I mean, $10, you know, and, and I think in our society today, as we look at, you know, those things that are truly important, if we ourselves as people could just follow the golden rule, strive to treat other people the way that we want to be treated. You know, so much of what we're experiencing in our world today would would kind of melt to the sidelines, you know.
Kirk Chugg:Yeah, I don't remember that movie. But I think it'd be good to watch to watch that movie.
Cory Moore:Good movie, because there's about 1000 of those lessons or more in the whole the whole movies about looking at your life and going Wait a minute, yeah.
Dave Rutter:Well, you kind of had it all in the beginning, but he's single and but he's got all the money in the world. And then he, he sees an alternate lifestyle. he marries his high school or college sweetheart, and, and they're broke, you know, he's working in a tire store.
Cory Moore:But that's exactly what he's got kids and he loves them. And so then he got, then he has to go back to his old life. And he's like, he doesn't want to leave. You know, he doesn't want to go back to the fancy apartment in New York in the Lamborghini, because he wants his family. Yeah. And it's great.
Dave Rutter:I love that you know, that show. I know a lot of people don't know that. Yeah, no, it's good. It's good.
Kirk Chugg:I've had that conversation recently. And several times, you know, we've had something like that happen. And I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was not that long ago. It was like, somebody had pulled through the carwash and had not pushed to stop, you know, and we pulled in there. And I mentioned to my, to my son, I was like, they didn't push stop on that over there. You want a free carwash? And he looked at me kind of like, what do you say that for? Yeah. And it was. And then I had that conversation. And I asked that question exactly that way. I said, How much would you show your integrity for? What is it a free carwash? It's like, my integrity is worth more than that. And it was just kind of like a short teaching experience. But I hope at some point, they they go, yeah, my dad used to mention that, you know, what's your integrity worth, because someday, it's going to be a lease negotiation, it's going to be something on a$20 million property, it's going to be a bid, but didn't go your way that you could change something on.
Dave Rutter:And, you're so right with that, because so much of sometimes we view our lives like it's these great, big, monumental things. But the truth of it is most of it are those small, simple things, you know, that we just those day to day interactions in life that we think sometimes our children are watching, if we've learned anything we've learned, they are watching, you know, I mean, they do know, and they see those, those small, little actions that we do. And it's not to say we don't make mistakes that we do every day, but but I think as a general rule, as they see us strive to become who we're trying to teach them to become as well, but we're on that same pathway that they're on. You know, it resonates, you know, we may not think so at the time, but in time, it does resonate, I believe.
Cory Moore:So talk to us about what led to adoption and you have two adopted kids. It sounds like I didn't know that. But tell us tell us that story.
Dave Rutter:Oh, thank you. Yeah, very cool story. We actually have four adopted grandchildren too. So it's, we have a very multicultural family. But we, we were done. And we were done having having children, we had four children, great family. And we had started Fat Cats. And as I mentioned, we weren't making any money. I mean, it was the money flow was going the other way. And my wife and I, and our family went to lagoon one night for frightmare, October 17 of 2002. And which we never did. We're not big lagoon people. But we run across some friends of ours, who had a friend with them who had this little African American child that she that she was carrying that she had with her. And, of course, my wife ran right over. My wife has an adopted sister who's black. And so she ran right over and said, I think it's such a great thing that you've adopted this child, I have a sister who's black and, and the lady said, well, that's great. But I haven't adopted him. I'm actually interim care for him until he gets placed. And so I looked at him and thought he was cute and grabbed my boys. And we were off to ride the roller coaster, honestly did not think a thing about it. And we're riding home. My wife says, I wasn't that little boy cute. And I said, Yeah, he was beautiful and, and I come over work the next day. And she's like, I can't get this little boy out of my mind. And I came home from the next day. And she said, I think we're supposed to adopt this little boy. And I said, Okay, tap the brakes. I mean, there's no way we have no money. Our youngest child is 10. And I let's, let's not go down this road, come home from work the next day. And she's like, I went to see him. As you can tell my wife kind of, she does her thing, you know. And she said, I went to see him. Well, it turns out that he was literally in living with these people right around the corner from us. I mean, just, you know, literally, I mean, less than a minute from our house. And she said, Dave, you, you have to come we're supposed to adopt this little boy. And so I went with her. And I picked this, this little boy up. And, and he looked into my eyes, and it was like, I'm looking at my son. Yeah, I mean, there was just that. I mean, it was just absolutely immediate that that I knew that. And so we had no idea how we would do it. He was already supposed to be placed with someone else. But But we said, okay, we'll do everything that we can to adopt him, and then just kind of let things happen as they happen. Well, you know, two and a half weeks later, he was in our home, we had everything fell into place, we had the home study, it was just this miraculous, absolutely miraculous thing. And he's our 19 year old today, and just a delight. And then once when we when we adopted, once we knew that we would adopt again, I mean, we wanted to have somebody for him to grow up with. And so then we adopted his little sister. And that was about two years later. So there are our two youngest Case and Chloe, and he just graduated. She's a junior in high school, and they're just an absolute delight. And then now we have our oldest daughter, has three of her own natural children has adopted three others, and then our next oldest son, as adopted one. So yeah, so of our 14 grandchildren for him or not,
Kirk Chugg:What a beautiful story.
Dave Rutter:It's wonderful.
Cory Moore:What, talk to me about what your kids were like, did they come to you before they adopted that they just do that on their own? Like, where was their Where did their adoption? I mean, obviously, they saw you adopt, and it was a great thing for the family and sounds like and wonderful. But that doesn't just mean that you know, your kids are going to start adopting. So where did that come from?
Dave Rutter:So our oldest she married it just a phenomenal individual from Tonga and his his upbringing, his kind of the world is my family. You know, I mean, he believes that God puts people in his path for a reason and, and so they bring him into their home. And so and thankfully, my daughter is the same way. And so I I honestly don't ever remember them talking to us about it. They, their, their oldest two that they adopted came from that when when my daughter actually was running our Fat Cats in Salt Lake City, there was this boy who came in there every day and just stayed all day long. And so finally she just said, Why are you here? I mean, what you know, it turned out that he was kind of a refugee from Africa. And he was here with his, his uncle, but his uncle is a long haul truck driver, and so he just hang out wherever he could, while his uncle was gone for a couple of weeks at a time or a week at a time. And so finally, she actually invited that little boy, that young boy and he has 15 or 16 to stay at her home. Well, years later, he fathered two children. Those are their first two adopted children. And, and then that the next one was they had a girl coming over from Tonga to actually be a nanny forum, when my daughter was pregnant with her last child. But when she showed up, she was pregnant. The nanny was. So my daughter instead of getting this help taking care of her kids. Now she's taking care of the nanny who's morning sick. But before the nanny went back to Tonga, she, she said, I'd like you know you to to take this child. And that's their full Tongan child. And so, so that's their their third adopted. So they have three natural children, three adopted, and then my son who adopted, he adopted a half sister of those two older sister and so there are cousins, but also have siblings. And that's an entire other story. But, but it's, if you ever want to see God's hand at work, I mean, you see it through adoption. I mean, it absolutely happens that way.
Kirk Chugg:There's more adoption stories that we just kind of run into during the podcast than I ever expected.
Cory Moore:Way more Yeah.
Kirk Chugg:And every one of them seems to be a story of, I would never do it any other way. I've never heard an adoption story. And they say I regret doing that. Because you can impact somebody's life for the better, regardless of who they are, where they come from, or how they come into your life. And, and that's a testament to just reaching out and being a part of somebody's life.
Dave Rutter:Yeah, I mean, for sure, the impact and it goes both ways. I mean, so many people have come to us talking about our two adopted children case in Chloe, and what a blessing, you know, that you are in their lives and, you know, in the background that they could have had, and all those things, but the blessing has been ours, you know, because, because they, it as we had when we adopted our son, I mean, our kids were, you know, I mean, we had three teenagers at that point. So they're chasing things and doing their thing. And we adopted him, and they all came back. I mean, them and their friends, you know, and I mean, we had a house full every night. And and, and so that just kind of carried through. So it's been a tremendous blessing in our life, as well, as I hopefully, you know, been a blessing. And theirs also.
Kirk Chugg:Well, I think that adoption kind of incorporates a lot of those qualities that we talked about, that we want to instill in our kids. Yeah, you know, looking outside yourself, service, humility, and a lot of the things that we hope they internalize and instead of just having to pull them aside, say, let me teach you about humility. Let me teach you about living outside of yourself and looking for opportunities to serve through adoption, you're showing them all of those things at once. Yeah. And so, you know, I'm sure that they'll look back and in your family history and the Rutter family history in two or three generations, that's going to be part of your family's story. And hopefully the people that you've never met that are part of your family line will say, my great, great grandpa Rutter and grandma did this. And it's changed our family for the better. Yeah, and you know, that's the only way we live on like, we really don't take like you said anything with us. It's only the relationships that we leave behind and the lessons that we that we teach so that's what we hope people get out of the podcast is by listening to stories they can relate to and say this is really something I'm going to I'm going to be where I am back that simple little lesson it can be any more simple than that but how many of us really need to take that advice?
Dave Rutter:Yeah it's so true I mean and and really you say great grandpa rudder but it really be great grandma rudder because she's the one who listened for me I was too caught up in riding the rides that lagoon for her she was the one who who listened and said okay, there's something I'm supposed to do so.
Cory Moore:Yeah, well you've had so for children get married, right? And I always bring this topic up because I think I'm afraid for my girls to get married but talk to us about any advice about you know, having having kids get married and watch them go through through that process you know, any advice to dads that are going to get ready for that here soon?
Dave Rutter:Well I think and again this goes back to Lake Powell it's been part of the culture of our family but that is one thing we would always do we always take if they were considering it they'd come to power with us because you could tell so much about somebody by a week at pal you know and just Are you boy helper here in a big windstorm and anchor rubs need to be tightened or whatever are they in watching TV are they are helping and so you see a lot and you know that point yeah and I just think somebody who who I know is gonna love my my specifically my girls and I couldn't be more thrilled with the with the the two sons in law that I have that that absolutely cherish my daughter's and that's, you know, as a dad, that's most important you know, your sons are going to take care of themselves and I have absolutely incredible daughters in laws well, and but you know, your sons are going to come To take care of themselves, but you want your daughters to be treated like, like queens, and thankfully we have. And so it's it's I think kindness is, is such a, you know, something that we don't think of, you know enough, but just that simple act of being kind, you know, to somebody else, you know, putting somebody else's needs before your own. We live in a world that by and large is pretty selfish, I think. And so people who are willing to put somebody else's needs before their own, they're going to take care of my daughter. So I, you know, thankfully we have sons in law that that do that they work hard. They, they work hard, they're kind they treat, not only my daughters, but their children wonderfully and can't ask for a whole lot more than that.
Kirk Chugg:So Dave, as we talk, values, and as we get close to the end of the podcast here, you've talked a little bit about how you want your daughters to be treated. Right. And I think a lot of people in their mind will say, that's kind of my definition of what I hope, my son in laws are. What I hope that they're gentlemen, they treat my daughters with respect. If you had to answer the question, what do you think a gentleman is? How would you answer that question?
Dave Rutter:Yeah, that's a great one. So when I think of a gentleman, I go back immediately, again, to my dad, and so I think that probably one of the things that hit me most, as always hit me most with my dad is just, I never heard him utter a negative, negative word about someone else. I mean, literally, I can't remember one time that that I ever heard him do that. And, and, and he elevated my mom, his wife to that status. I mean, he treated her that way. He, again, I mean, always opened her door, took care of her, you know, I mean, she just, you know, she was the queen in, in my home. And so, I think a gentleman, one, I think, understands who he is, and feels a stewardship. You know, I mean, stewardship is kind of a big word, you know, beyond responsibility. To me, it's kind of your stewardship as your kind of God given responsibility. And, and so for him, he viewed, has viewed his life as a stewardship for others. I mean, not, you know, his, his eyes haven't been focused inward. I mean, they've been focused outward towards others. And so I think a gentleman has a stewardship of recognizing his place in the world, and that he wants to leave this world better than he found it. And that's not a money question. So much as it is an impact question, you know, to me, so I think stewardship, I think kindness, you know, is is is absolutely a gentlemanly quality. And I think integrity, you know, I mean, that you, when you say you're going to be somewhere, do something or or fulfill some duty, that it isn't a question. I mean, you do it rather than then then have your integrity be be challenged. And so for me, those would probably be the three words that would come to my mind stewardship, integrity and, and kindness.
Kirk Chugg:That's awesome.
Cory Moore:The stewardship one I haven't heard before and I really like that. Yeah, stewardship,
Kirk Chugg:it takes it to a little bit higher level than just the responsibility. Yeah, I love that. And the integrity part, too.
Dave Rutter:Oh, I think we have, you know, the truth of it is we've been, we're pretty blessed, you know, regardless of what our individual situations are, we're pretty blessed. And and, you know, to view that to just say, I have no responsibility with that, you know, but we do and so because of, of what we have, we're in a position where sometimes people will listen to us, I don't, you know, I mean, maybe people will listen to this podcast and and so I think we have a responsibility to do those things to, to leave the world better to help people, you know, find a better way, a lot of the people that work with us aren't going to we know they're not going to make careers and in the restaurant business, or the family entertainment business, but even that year, or two or three, or hopefully more that they that they work with us, they can say, wow, I learned things that are gonna help me be a better dad or help me be a better son, or, or, or spouse or whatever. Then I feel like we've done our job.
Kirk Chugg:Yeah, that's real impact. Very cool.
Cory Moore:Well, Dave, thank you so much for being on the podcast. You had some very good insight. I appreciate your time.
Dave Rutter:Well, thank you very much my privilege of being here. Thanks for asking.
Kirk Chugg:Dave, thanks for joining us. We hope that you get lots of value out of the podcast. If you would like to share rate review the podcast that sure helps us and we wouldn't turn down that help and hope that you have a great week. Be gentlemen!
Cory Moore:Thanks, everyone.
